Re-Post: Where Has All of the Nature Gone??? {Natural parenting Blog Party}

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This was one of my first posts. Now that spring is coming again, it's been weighing heavily on me. I wish my children could explore the magic of nature the same way I did as a child. Can we fix this problem???

Courtesy of Rosemary Ratcliff

I remember loving nature when I was a kid. Not in the sense that, when people asked me what I liked, I'd say, "Nature!" Summers were the best. I'd wake up, eat breakfast, and run outside. I'd hear, "Make sure you come back when I call you for lunch!" Sometimes I never did make it back. I had things to do. The first was to stir up all of the Mayflies that had settled on our house overnight.




Courtesy Lisa McDonald



When that mission was accomplished, I'd sit watching the robins pull fat worms from the lawn and try to figure out how they did it so easily. I once spent an entire afternoon digging up the flowerbeds and never came across one single wiggly prize. Oh, but if it was raining, that wan a different story. Our suburban sidewalks came alive with earthworms, snails, and slugs. I marvelled at them. All of the kids in the neighborhood took the time to help our slimy friends safely cross that huge concrete "street" by scooping them up and setting them in the grass.

This photo's mine! (His name is Chester, by the way!)

When the sun beat down on us, we'd find ladybugs and grasshoppers. If you could keep a ladybug on you the longest, you would be lucky that day. We had grasshopper contests to see whose insect could jump the highest. I can't recall anyone actually winning - the green jumpers wouldn't follow directions and usually escaped before we could even see which direction they were headed.



Courtesy Dr. Joseph Valks

 We often would find toads and turtles travelling through the neighborhood, on a visit from the creek that ran through the park down the street. Finding a toad made you the most popular kid in the neighborhood for the day. A turtle turned you into a legend for at least a week! I recall always naming my finds "Herkemer." Not sure why. I think I may have had the idea that each toad and turtle I found was a repeat visitor, just dropping by to say "Hi" to me over and over.



Courtesy of Arvind Balaraman

 The evenings were the best! Crickets chirped loudly as we played freeze tag in someones yard. The lightning bugs would come out in droves. There were so many that, after it got completely dark, we could see each other's silhouettes blocking out the swarm of green lights. Who needed a light out there?! And, though we lived in an area surrounded by wetlands, no one had more than four or five mosquito bites at any one time.

Why am I writing about these memories? The recent news about the sudden deaths of thousands of birds and fish around the world got me thinking. My kids will never experience nature the way I did. I live in the same area - the westernmost point of Lake Erie. Now, I get all excited when a Mayfly lands on out house and get the kids to come over to marvel at it. The robins are just passing through now, rarely do my kids have the pleasure of pondering these birds' ability to pluck a worm from the earth. When it rains, a few sorry-looking worms peek out and they don't bring their friends the snails and slugs. They've never seen a toad in the wild and turtles are just pictures in books to them. They rarely spend time outside after dusk because the mosquitoes outnumber the lightning bugs a zillion-to-one.

We have a really nice state park two miles away from us with a beach on the lake. We don't go there. The entire length of the beach is an Area of Concern (AOC), according to the EPA - one of thirty in the entire country the last time I looked. This is due to PCBs and other toxic substances in the water. The insects and animals that I once was in awe of are being killed in alarming numbers. We are warned not to eat the fish from the river that is the center of that AOC. Conveniently, the line for that AOC stops 100 yards before it hits the water treatment plant for our area. (I try not to think about what is coming out of our faucet. I can tell you that 1" of bathwater is a beautiful blue and smells strongly of chlorine bleach.)



Courtesy of Evgeni Dinev

For many years, I have dreamt of moving far away from everything. North Dakota? Alaska? My arthritis won't take the cold. We're looking, though. I've read every book you can think of about homesteading, building your own house, living self-sufficiently and off the grid. My oldest is twelve. I don't think my dreams will be fulfilled by the time he's ready to leave for college. But my toddler, hopefully, will get to experience the wonder of seeing nature in it's natural habitat. We may have to work for years to bring our 5-10 acres back to the way it should be, environmentally, but I'm willing to work hard just so he can feel that awe. And, hopefully, my incredibly creative and imaginative older son will be able to experience it, too, even though he'll be on the cusp of adulthood.

Photo Credits:
Image: Rosemary Ratcliff / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Lisa McDonald / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Dr Joseph Valks / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was Featured! {Natural Parenting Blog Party}

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Thanks to The Peaceful Housewife for inviting me to be a guest poster! This is one of my favorite posts - so far. Head on over and check it out. Join the Natural Parenting Blog Party if you haven't already - it runs until April 30th, so there's plenty of time. And, if you're looking for some new natural parenting blogs, check out the linky, I've found tons of new favorite blogs!

Do Rewards Equate to Bribery? {Natural Parenting Blog Party}

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I am currently in my final year of earning my Bachelor of Science in Education and Sociology. Throughout my education, I have repeatedly come across "ways to get students to do what they want" portions of nearly every class. Nearly every one of these lists starts with bribery - "To motivate your students to do well on a test, give a piece of candy to each student that gets an 'A'. As other students observe this reward system, they will also try harder on tests so they may also receive a reward." It makes me sick. Really, I'm not kidding. I think that children should learn based on internal motivations and that motivation gets squashed almost as soon as they step into a classroom that offers candy or other treats for learning. I've literally received lower grades in classes for going against this line of thought. I could have just written papers full of hypocrisy that follow what was being taught, but I think that this is wrong and I want my voice to be heard by my classmates on this matter - especially when these student teachers are still forming their own opinions.

As a parent, I have made the mistake of playing the "If-Then" rewards game many times over. In fact, I'm going through it right now. It's so easy to get your kids to do things you want or need them to do when you can say, "If you pick up all of your toys, then I will let you have a cookie!" Those blocks generally get cleaned up immediately! It was working amazingly well. That is, until recently.

My kids had started to weigh whether the reward was worth their efforts. I usually send my oldest down to the store on the corner to pick up milk or eggs. When he went, I was giving him an extra dollar to get himself a snack. Last week, when I asked him to run down there for me, he said no. WHAT?! He told me he wasn't hungry and, anyway, we already had some peanut butter crackers if he did get hungry. And Little Guy refused to pick up his blocks - over and over. I was getting desperate to the point that I was escalating the prize without even realizing what I was doing. He finally picked them up when I offered a brownie (he rarely gets anything chocolate.) Reality set in. I was doing the one thing that I was so out-spoken against in my classes. I needed to change my tactics right away.

With my oldest, it's much easier to just explain the situation and have him understand. He's a pretty rational guy. I simply told him that we needed milk and I couldn't take Little Guy out because it was too windy and chilly to walk with him. He is old enough to be responsible for getting an item I needed to make dinner and so he could go get it - without the extra dollar. He stomped out the door. But, when he came back, he apologized and told me he understood. He even suggested that I stop giving him the extra money and just buy him surprise snacks once in a while. Um... OK!

Now, the little guy is not that easily placated. He is used to getting special treats for doing what I want. As I was writing the Crafting with Toddlers post, it occurred to me that his "reward" for following the directions is the sense of pride he gets when the project is finished. So, I am very slowly working on getting him to do other things and then trying to instill that same pride in a job well done. For instance, when he cleaned up his blocks this morning, he received no treats (much to his dismay at first.) Instead, I brought out a special medal that I won from One Busy Moma. It is from Tatutina and it says "Super Hero" on it. I ceremoniously put it over his head and told him that he could wear it for a little while because he did a great job cleaning up his mess. I showed him how clean the floor was and how I could walk on it without stepping on blocks. I told him that he must be growing up because he was taking good care of his toys so they wouldn't get broken. You get the picture... Anyway, he had pride in his work. He told Daddy about his clean floor and showed him the medal. He did the same for his brother. And both of the cats. And his Juno doll. And just about all of his other toys.

He even wore it outside to show off to the neighbors!

At dinnertime, we took the medal off and I put it away. Later, before bed, it was time to clean up the toys again. This time he just did it. No begging or reminding him to stay on task. And, when he was done, he proudly announced to anyone who would listen that HE made the floor all clean. I have periodically used the medal to show him some extra appreciation when he's told me he needed to go potty, after he's helped me cook dinner, when we've finished vacuuming, etc. I don't put it on him every time he does something helpful. It's more of an extra way for me to show my appreciation than it is a reward.

Meanwhile, my oldest has been doing the extra things I ask him to do without asking what he'll get in return.Yeah, REALLY!!! I think that my speaking to him as an adult rather than a kid has helped. He understands that, as he gets older, I am depending on him to do more to help our family function. He's even been asking me if I need anything from the store lately! And, when I ask him to take out the trash, he just does it - no stomping or slamming doors. And - GUESS WHAT - last Sunday morning, I slept in until 10 AM! He came into my room when he heard Little Guy wake up, changed his diaper, made him instant oatmeal, and played with him until I woke up in a panic, "OMG! Where's the baby?! He escaped!!!" - LOL!! He told me he figured it was my turn to sleep in.

While this turn of events is wonderful, I can't help but wonder how long it will last. Will I find myself playing the "If-Then" game again? I hope not but, if memory serves me right, I just may.

How do you get your kids to do things?  

What have you tried that doesn't work?  

What are your thoughts on the rewards system in schools and at home?  

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

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If you're interested in Tatutina, you can check out their medals HERE. They're only $5 each and cover a variety of subjects (we also have the Awesome Artist medal, won from a second giveaway at Hanging Off the Wire!) In addition to the medals, they carry a variety of other products including wooden take-out menu boxes, dog treat boxes, foot stools, and bookends - just to name a few. All of their products are made with non-toxic materials, so don't worry if you find your little one chewing on the leg of her foot stool! LOL

***I did not receive any compensation for this post. I received two Tatutina Medals from two separate blog giveaways. I think they're pretty cool, along with Tatutina's other stuff, and wanted to share this great site with my readers.



I am also linking this post to the Alexa Hops on Real Mom Reviews. Please, read the rules below (as posted on Real Mom Reviews!) if you would like to join in:

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Getting to Know You {Natural Parenting Blog Party}

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Hello! I'm pretty excited to join in on the Natural Parenting Blog Party. I hope to learn something from each of you and, hopefully, you'll learn a few things from me too? If you're just hopping and are not aware of this great Blog Party, head over to The Peaceful Housewife and get linked up to participate!

My first post for this party is at the suggestion of our host. I've answered all of the getting to know you questions:





How many children do you have, and how old are they?
 I have two boys. My oldest is 13 and my youngest is 2-1/2. I thought that having them 10 1/2 years apart would mean less arguing, teasing, and just plan being annoying to each other. Nope! They both dish it out to each other. Not all of the time, at least! 

Do you have a partner, or are you a single parent?
 My first husband passed away from cancer when my oldest was seven. I remarried on Leap Day, 2008.





What are your “hot button” parenting issues?
I don't have any issues with other parents unless it comes to spanking and speaking down to children. I really  don't get nasty about these things, but I do try to talk to these parents about how to do things a little differently. I'm not pushy, but I think that, sometimes, people just don't realize that there are other ways of doing things. When you grow up being raised a certain way, it can be easy to do the same with your own kids unless you know there are alternatives that work.

Have you made any parenting choices that you didn’t think you would make before you were a parent, i.e. cloth diapering a child when you had previously thought it was disgusting?
No vaccines was a big one for me. I was one of the mainstream that blindly believed all of the "facts" that are generally out there (i.e. Your kid's going to die a horrible death if you don't give him shots!!!) I learned that you have to do your own research of many, many different points of view before you can make any decisions.
Oh, and I never thought I'd breastfeed for this long! I thought that the weaning goal of 2 years was out there, but now we're going on 2 1/2 and, while little guy is slowly self-weaning, I'm not in any big hurry to get it done. I'm just waiting for him to make the decision.

Is there one book or person in particular that’s heavily influenced your parenting choices?
John Holt's How Children Learn. Made all the difference in how I interact with my kids all of the time. I really rethink the rules, how I say things, and even how we play together. It's a wonderful book that led me to want to read more of his work!






If you had to describe each of your children using only one word, what word would you use?
Oldest - Sweet
Youngest - Determined!


Is there one parenting decision that you regret more than others and wish you could change?
I wish I had never, ever allowed my oldest to get the chicken pox vaccine. It didn't work. He's got to have boosters. Now that he's hitting puberty, the risks that go along with getting the disease are high - sterilization, shingles, complications from the disease... Plus, he's going to need boosters the rest of his life to avoid getting chicken pox. How many adults keep up with their boosters on time?! I wish I had been more assertive and knew my facts (the doctor told me it was "the law" and he'd call CPS if I didn't allow it - how ignorant could I have been to believe that?!) so I could have refused the stupid shot and allowed him to just get chicken pox naturally and be done with it.

Is there an area of your parenting you wish you were better at?
I wish I could be consistent. I seem to make "Do ___ or else ____ will happen" statements that I don't always follow through on. The kids have learned that it's better to take their chances than just do what I ask. They might get in trouble if they don't listen, but odds are better if they do what they want.

Now for the fun questions – is there one particular food or type of food that you could eat every day?
Is coffee food?!





Vanilla ice cream or chocolate?
Chocolate. Regular, old chocolate - no "stuff" mixed in. I LOVE chocolate soft serve in a regular cone!

What’s your guilty pleasure?
Coffee?? LOL! I love to bake. I sometimes get hubby to play with little guy "for just 1/2 hour while I get dinner going" and then disappear into the kitchen for a couple of hours to make bread, cookies, cakes, etc.

If you could be part of any television show, which show would it be?

Hmm... Mr. Roger's Neighborhood? No, I love the guy, but I'd probably go nuts after a while. I guess I'd love to be in Alton Brown's Good Eats. This show has taught me so much! I don't even realize how much until I'm cooking and I'm suddenly adding some weird spice to my meatloaf that "sounds" good and ends up making the best meatloaf ever - turns out I got it from the show. It's like everything I've heard on the show is embedded in my memory and I don't even know it.


I'm looking forward to meeting all of your, finding some new favorite blogs, and sharing tips and ideas!

A couple of giveaways going on here, right now! If you have a minute, please head over and enter:

I have a $10 Gift certificate to Jenny's The Peaceful Housewife Shop

I am giving away a $15 gift certificate to Freckles Crafts. They have some great craft kits that include everything you could possibly need to make the project. And the prices are low - the average kit costs about $4.99.