The Best Boyfriend... EVER!

See this kid?

He's been deemed "The Best Boyfriend EVER!" You see, things are looking up for my oldest. Being a year younger than his classmates wasn't really a problem until he hit middle school. He struggled with the whole "girl" thing. By the time he hit high school, last fall, he had pretty much given up on thinking any girls would be interested in him simply because he was a little younger than them. But, he managed to learn something that many adults fail to realize: Age really doesn't matter - it's more about who you are. And, though I'm his mom, I'm not just bragging when I tell you that he's an amazing person. Empathetic, polite, level-headed, and thoughtful are the first words that pop into my head when I try to describe him.

I was so happy for him when he home home with the announcement: "I have a girlfriend!" He's been walking on air since. It's amazing what a huge boost this has been to his self-esteem. Additionally, his attitude around here has gone from typical apathetic teenager to mature and helpful young man. I'm so proud of him!

He attended his first high school dance last Saturday. The dance was set to begin at 7pm. So, naturally, he started getting ready at noon! Every 15 minutes, he was in the bathroom combing his hair, brushing his teeth, putting on MORE cologne, etc. (We had a talk about how to put that stuff on. He seemed to be under the impression that, if he couldn't smell it, no one could.) He tried on a bunch of nice shirts, picked one out, then asked me to show him how to iron it. Yeah - he didn't just ask me to do it, he wanted me to teach him! With all of his pacing and looking at the clock all day, I think I was more nervous for him than he was by the time 7 o'clock rolled around. But, it all went off without a hitch. He came home smiling from ear-to-ear and went directly to the computer...

You see, I don't know if it's common all over the place, but kids around here don't talk on the phone or even text each other. They use Facebook to instant message and leave each other little status updates, write on walls, etc. The minute he's in for the night, he's asking to use the computer. He'll spend hours "socializing" with his friends online. WAY different than when I was his age. Back then, I had two choices: talk on the phone, or "hang out." Talking on the phone was pretty difficult. Call-waiting wasn't all that common, so my phone calls were limited to five minutes. You can't get much "you hang up first... no YOU hang up first!" with that kind of time limit. So, we usually congregated somewhere. The mall was the place to be in the wintertime, but not much fun when you had no money. You could go to a friend's house and stare at MTV for a few hours (remember when they actually played music videos all of the time???) Or, we just stood outside on a corner in our little suburban community - but it had to be where no one's parents could see us through a window (as if we were doing anything beside saying, "So, what do you want to do? I don't care... whatever YOU want to do.") Anyway, kids nowadays don't actually hang out with each other unless it's a special event. And they don't even talk to each other. They type to each other, each from the comfort of their own homes. I can't help but wonder what this generation will be like in their 20's - will they have drinking parties via Skype?! But, I'm getting way off the subject of why my kid is the best boyfriend ever...

He really wanted to get his girlfriend a nice gift for St. Valentine's Day. We just don't have any money to give him and it's hard to find a job when you're his age. So, ever the thinker, he came up with a plan and spent a lot of time collecting empty cans to turn in for deposit (they're worth $0.10 each in Michigan!) He managed to save up enough to buy his girlfriend this:

Yeah, a huge heart-shaped box of truffles. When my husband saw it, he teased my son by saying, "Thanks for raising the bar! Now I have to do something extra special for your mom!" That little comment just made my kid beam. He knew he did a great job.

He came home today and went directly into his room. All I could think was that either something happened to that candy between the time he left home this morning and when he had planned on giving it to his girlfriend. No, he was just taking a nap. Seems he had been up all night last night, nervous for today. But, it all went well. She absolutely loved the candy in the fancy box. He asked me if he could tell her how he paid for it and I advised him to only mention it if asked. She asked, did the teenage girl "Awwww!", and gave him a huge hug, declaring, "You're the BEST boyfriend EVER!"

Now, he's not just the best according to one girl. Nope. Word got around school, you know. By the end of the day, he was considered the best boyfriend by the majority of the freshman girls in his school. I'm wondering if the other classes will hear about this on Facebook tonight? He might be the best boyfriend (EVER!) in the entire school by tomorrow morning.

If His Head Wasn't Attached... {Oliver's Labels}

My oldest's high school allows students to carry water bottles (with water only!)to class. This keeps students hydrated, especially in the dry winter months, and keeps down student requests for hall passes to get drinks from the water fountains. My son seems to always be thirsty, so having his water bottle in class is very important to him. Unfortunately, he loses everything. It doesn't matter if it's something as insignificant as a pencil or the memory stick containing all of his homework files - he'll lose it. And, often, lost items are never seen again. I think his stuff all ends up in the same place that lost socks and mittens go. So, it has been no surprise to learn that he's lost yet another water bottle. This year, his total is already up to 12 - that's more that one bottle every 2 weeks since school has started!

I had been casually looking around online for some name labels for his bottles that he'd not be embarrassed to use. Because, let's face it, many of the more affordable labels have icons that are meant for the 3 to 9-year-old crowd. The more sophisticated labels available are usually just to darn expensive for our budget. I was so happy to have the opportunity to try out Oliver's Labels.

London Primrose Design

Oliver's Labels has a wide array of label designs and styles. Designs range from trains and butterflies children, to roses and carnations for adults, to allergy labels - they have it all. They even offer labels with your own QR Code included, if you have a business or Web page that you'd like to direct others to check out. Their styles consist  the typical name labels in a variety of sizes to stick onto cups and pencils, photo labels, iron-on labels for clothing, show labels, and even wristbands. Oliver's Labels even offers easy packages of labels that include everything you need for going to camp, clothing, and preschool!

I chose the Crossbones design for my sample pack of labels for review and had my oldest's last name added. I received a variety of styles - Original Labels, Shoe Labels, Mini Labels, and Stick-eez™  Clothing Labels. I immediately put the original labels on his remaining water bottles. The mini labels were attached to his favorite mechanical pencil (he loves drawing with it!), and I put the show labels into his new track shoes. I love that they are all waterproof and don't fade! So far, they're all still in place and, no matter how hard I scrub those water bottles, how far he runs in those shoes, and how much he uses that pencil, those labels look as if I just put them on the items today. The clothing stickers are just wonderful, too. I was afraid that stickers would end up falling off in the washer, but they're steadfast! For a kid who loses stuff like my oldest, these are invaluable for getting his jackets returned and keeping his trunks and towels for swimming in his possession.

The biggest test was making sure he wouldn't be embarrassed to use the items that had these new labels attached. Because, really, what's the point of having the labels if he won't take the bottles to school? He loved them! In fact, he even had a few of his friends and even a couple of teachers ask where I got them.

It has been three weeks and he has left his water bottle on the school bus and in the lunch room. He even left one of his favorite hoodies on the city bus. So far, though, his forgetfulness hasn't resulted in yet another loss. Every time, the items have been returned. (I'm glad we live in a small enough town that the hoodie found its way back because someone knew who the name on the label belonged to!) I am considering getting a "Found-It" subscription for all of the things that my family loses (unfortunately, it's not just my oldest who has this problem!). Guess what - Oliver's Labels has an option to include the Found-It code on your labels. So, if I do end up subscribing, I'll be sure to check out Oliver's.

So, if you're in need of some good labels that look cool and can withstand the wear and tear that kids tend to put them through, go check out Oliver's Labels first. In addition to their Web site, you can also find them on their Blog and connect with them on Facebook and Twitter.
I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

The NCLB & Peer Pressure

As most of you know, my oldest started high school this year. He also joined the cross country team. Because we don't have a car and the park where they train is over 3 miles away, he's been grabbing a ride home with a few of the kids who live near us. Now, when my son started "real" school, he was placed one grade above the grade his age group of lids was in - meaning that he's now 13 years old and attending high school (I am SO GLAD I didn't go with the testing recommendation to jump him TWO years ahead!) What this means is that he's often riding home with 18-year-olds.

Now, I've met most of the members of the cross country team and they're pretty good kids. Most of them are getting good grades, they take care of their bodies, and they're generally pretty moral group. So, when my son came home with his news last night, I was shocked at first. "Mom, I got some peer pressure for the first time today." Oh no! Drugs? Sex? WHAT?! Have I mentioned that my oldest ALWAYS picks the worst possible moment for these kind of talks? I have a hungry, tired little guy screaming about how the color of his crayon isn't the right green (he's got a giant shoe box of crayons - geez!) I'm trying to cook dinner. The phone is ringing. And my lovely husband, who stubbed his toe TWO WEEKS AGO is limping around the house and actually whining (can you say "attention-seeking"?)

I turn off the stove, let the answering machine get the phone call, and direct my husband to gimp into the living room and pull all of the green crayons from the box for little guy - hey, he was just in the way and this way he will have someone to whine at who might listen to his tale of woe*.OK, full attention on the teen... "So, what's up?" He looks at me very seriously. I can tell this is going to be one of those times when I have to keep my head on straight and really think about my next move. The look on his face scared me to death!

"You know the kid I usually ride home with, John?" Yeah... "Well, see there was this assembly at school on Monday." Um, okay... "Well, I know you said I couldn't do it, so I stayed in the library, but John went and..." Wait. What assembly did I say you couldn't go to? "You know, that letter you wrote to the school?"

Aha!

 That letter I wrote was back on the first day of school. You know how they come home with a stack of paper a mile high for parents to sign. They're usually permission to watch films, or pieces of paper promising not to sue if my child becomes lost on a field trip... In little, tiny lettering on the back and in the middle of a list of typical attendance rules that most people give a quick scan and then toss on a pile of papers to look at later, I noticed this:

"The No Child Left Behind Act... requires schools to permit military recruiters to obtain students' contact information and other access to the student, if the school provides that information to universities or employers, unless the students opt out of giving military recruiters access."

 So, I got out my pen and basically write that I do NOT give permission to the school to release my son's information to military recruiters, nor do I give the school permission to send him to a school assembly or any other function where he will be in contact with recruiters. This may seem a little harsh, but 1) I don't want my kid being sent to fight a war over some stupid commodity so the rich can get richer and 2) I've heard how these guys work, at least around here.

A mom I know called me last year about this time, steaming mad. She had just received a letter from the Army letting her know that her 14 year-old pledged to enter the military right after he graduated. She was freaking out! She asked her kid why he would do something like that. Know why? The recruiter were giving out really cool dog tags to everyone who signed up for "more information". Everyone was getting these things and he wanted t have them, too. Plus, he might win a brand new PS3!!! But from the letter my friend had in her hand, it sounded as if there's be a van at their front door the day after graduation to pick the kid up for boot camp. So, you see why it is so important to me that MY kid not be exposed to all of these "promises" of winning cool prizes, seeing the world, and getting a free ride through college.

It turns out that there had been some talk among the kids about the military and getting some cool stuff for signing up for "more information". My son's ride home had thought it over and decided he wanted to go over and sign up and asked my son if he wanted to, also. At first, my son laughed it off. But, when he realized that this boy was serious, he started feeling the pressure. "Why not? Don't you care about our country?" and all of that kind of stuff got thrown at him. My son took the one out I've always told him works: "My mom would kill me!" It worked. This kid understood the pissed-off mom excuse.

So, we've had our first "peer pressure" incident and he came out unscathed. I explained to him why I didn't want him signing anythingI hated the idea. BUT, I wanted him to see what the other kids were doing. It would have been unfair of me to keep him from that just because of my opinions of schools. Turns out it was a good decision for him - he's the type of learner who does well in a classroom. If he wanted to join the military, I'd only want to make sure he knew ALL of the facts and had a good personal reason for wanting to do so. (I can't promise I wouldn't try to talk him out of it, though!)

*Look, the guy has been seen running to catch one of his friends who was pulling out of the parking lot. His toe doesn't hurt that badly. He just realized he was getting to lay around and watch TV and take naps whenever he wanted while I took care of everything else.)

Just Another 'First Day of School' Post...

Yeah, I'm jumping on the "First Day of School" bandwagon this year. My little boy is a high school freshman and I just can't seem to grasp that quite yet. It's scary for a mom! I have to get off his back about homework, schedules, and loosen up a bit on the rules now. This is the time when he's supposed to learn how to take care of himself, while still at home with a loving and supportive family there to catch him if he should fall.

Shoes on...

 He skipped a grade way back when he moved from homeschooling to "real" school. So, I think that because he's 13,  not 14 like his classmates, it scares me a little more than most moms. He may have the book smarts to be grouped with these kids, but his maturity and responsibility levels are a little off. We've already had some problems with him remembering things. He is at that "I know what I'm doing" stage and refuses to write anything down because he'll remember it all. He missed his very first cross country meet yesterday because he didn't remember that I told him to ask his coach where the team was supposed to meet to take the shuttle to the event. He forgot that I told him to pack clothes to run in. He forgot to ask about getting a ride home with a teammate who lives close to us. He was told to write it all down. He came home feeling terrible about the entire thing. I could have made him a list, but what about next time and the time after that? I think that his feelings of bewilderment at his self-assurance, guilt of not supporting his team, and sadness at missing his first high school event will help teach him to make a list more than any nagging I could ever do.

The thing is, this is the first time he's ever signed on to an extracurricular activity on his own. This is the first time that he's taken the initiative to head to practice on his own - with no car, this means he has to ride his bike 3 miles each way to the site. He even set out last Friday to practice (with NO reminder from me!) when it was 100 degrees out. Practice had been canceled due to the heat (he'd have been called if he had remembered to turn in the paperwork I filled out three days before!) On the days that there is no practice, he is planning his own 3 to 4-mile runs. I'm amazed at all of this and want to support him as much as possible.

... backpack ready...

Then there's the schoolwork. The district provides a wonderful student planner to all students at the beginning of the year. It's only day 2 of the year and he's not written one thing in it except his name. I've shown him how to use it and have threatened life & limb if he doesn't write in it at the end of every class. "I forgot." "I didn't have time because the bell rang." Blah, blah, blah. I'm kind of stuck on what to do about this. I can ground him, but that doesn't do much good - I found that out last year. I can give him "punishment" chores to do, but that won't work too well, either.


I went through this stuff, too, when I was his age. I barely did my homework because it was a waste of time to me. Once I learned something, it stuck. I'm not the type of learner who needs repetition to ingrain something into my memory. I paid attention in class, did the reading or a few problems, and I was done. I aced the tests and, even without doing any homework, I managed to get by on C's. I don't want this for him. He really wants to attend University of Michigan. He's even been offered a $10,000 scholarship if he manages to get through high school without his GPA ever dipping below a 3.0. I'm really trying to be empathetic here, but I don't want him to miss out on such an amazing opportunity.

So, I'm really stuck right now. My baby bird needs to start testing out his wings. I will be there to catch him when he falls. But how far do I let him go before pulling him back into the nest?

... and into the world of high school!

I'd love any advice! 

Both from moms who've been there done that and those of you who just remember back to starting high school. 

PLEASE, I'm really coming up with nothing right now and would love some help. 

No idea is too simple or complicated at this point!