Why I've Been So Sick

I have always been able to boast of a pretty great immune system. The last time I really got sick with the flu was way back in 1999. My oldest was not quite two. It was on Thanksgiving. I popped the turkey into the oven at noon and went to watch the re-runs of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. The next thing I knew, it was 2pm and I couldn't walk. I crawled into the kitchen and turned off the oven. I don't remember much from the next four days. My husband took off work (I later found out) and my toddler would crawl up onto the couch to nurse whenever he wanted (open bar!!!) When I finally was able to get my own juice from the fridge, the stench in the kitchen was overpowering - The Turkey! Yeah, my husband didn't even think to look in the oven. He was more concerned about remember to change diapers and feed the little one so he wouldn't starve. That was the only time I ever just threw out a perfectly good pan - I just couldn't deal with it at the time and my husband probably would have had rotten turkey carcass all over the kitchen and himself if I asked him to do it.

 Anyway, since then, I have had colds and sinus infections, maybe the odd fever... nothing much. Until the first of this year. I've been sick four times in as many months. I get fevers, my whole body is wracked with pain, I'm somewhat delirious (NOT a good thing with my Little Guy's curiosity and penchant for sneakiness!) Why didn't I go to the doctor right away? I have a bad history with them. I don't like them and I don't trust them. Read two reasons (among many) HERE (scroll down to #5 & #6.)

 I finally gave in and went to the doctor two weeks ago. I'm underweight (it runs in the family) and the first thing the doctors around here seem to think is that I'm some kind of drug addict. Maybe it's my nervousness at even being in their office. I don't know. The first thing he said when he saw my list of complaints was, "I'm not prescribing you any pain medication until I know what's wrong with you." Um, OK, don't want it! I'm breastfeeding and I don't want my little guy getting all of that fun stuff in him anyway. And did I even ASK you for anything???  Didn't listen to my heart or even check my blood pressure. Made sure to have me pee in a Dixie cup, though! He said, after the little dipstick came out in a rainbow of colors, that it looked like I might have a problem with my kidneys. That explains the back pain. He ordered a TON of blood tests and sent me on my way.

Went back last week for a follow-up, with all of the same symptoms raging. Here's what he told me: "Your kidneys are functioning at about 60% of what they should be. I need more blood tests, so get these to the lab (holding out a bunch of little Rx papers) and come back in two weeks." So, I ask what I can do until then. Should I drink water, cranberry juice, eat certain foods??? He actually rolls his eyes, sighs, and writes another script. Here's an order for physical therapy. WHAT?! So, I ask why. He got all pissed off at me! "Well, if you don't have time to go to physical therapy, then you'll be on dialysis within six months!" Then he stomped out of the exam room. Did I mention there was no physical exam - again?

So, I got home and did what everyone does - I Googled about it. First of all, I have no idea what is wrong with me. The doctor wouldn't say - he wanted more tests. All I have to go on are my symptoms and the 60% thing. I cannot find anything that indicates that any type of kidney problem can be resolved with physical therapy. None. I've checked the scholarly articles, journals, research papers, etc. Nada. So, my appointment with him is at the end of the week. In the meantime, I'm sitting here in agony. It hurts most of the time, with fever and delirium mixed in a few days a week. I can't see another doctor. I'm on a health plan under Medicaid. So, I just have to wait.

If this guy doesn't give me some real information at the end of the week, I think I may just head to the ER. But that just brings on a new set of problems. All of those scary "what-ifs" keep going through my head. The biggest is: What if they want to keep me??? Hubby is manic-depressive with a side of ADD. I can't leave the kids in his hands. It's not that he doesn't try, but he's just not able to keep up with a 13 year-old who is practicing being an adult (yeah - it's been pretty frustrating!) and a 2 1/2 year-old who has to investigate everything (especially everything that he's been told is dangerous!) I'd probably be more ill from the stress of being stuck in a hospital than just staying on this path. If I go and refuse to be admitted, I risk losing medical coverage...

So, that's why I've been AWOL for so long. I have 25 posts that are all half-written. I have four reviews to write. I really want to get a bunch of giveaways lined up. Argh! So, please bear with me. I think that dropping this class will be the first step in the right direction - the grade and lack of getting my papers "just right" is driving me nuts!