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Can you guess what Day 3 of the KY Intimacy Experiment is all about from the title of this post? It's one of the oldest pick-up lines around. There are others that really stand out to me, too: 1) "Your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind ALL day!", 2) "Do you come here often?", and 3) "Did it hurt?" Did what hurt?! "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, 'cause you must be an angel!" <Insert eye-rolling here>
Today's exercise is all about going back to the time when you both first met. The excitement of learning all about this new person. The little chill that ran down your spine by a mere brush against his arm. The novelty of flirting with someone new and not knowing quite where it may lead. As time goes by, this shiny new relationship tarnishes until the shine is completely gone. You know each other so well that there just isn't anything new to discover. Getting the laundry folded and put away before hitting the hay is just as desirable a prospect (maybe even more so) as stealing a few minutes of one-on-one time with your partner. You probably can't even remember what it was that first sparked your interest in your partner.
So, as per the instructions in our KY Intimacy Experiment booklet, hubby and I got out the journal and each made a list of the things that turned us on about the other when we first felt those turned-on feelings for one another. After writing all of these things down, we circled the ones that were still true. NOT an easy task to be honest about! Then, we made two more lists that had to do with the present - the positive and negative attributes we felt the other had. These lists took time. We decided to give it a full 24 hours. Both of us carried little note pads with us the entire time so we could write down something as soon as we thought of it (Hey - we're getting old and the memory thing really applies here. I can have a thought and lose it all in a few seconds!) After the 24 hours was up, we made a "date" to go over our lists and talk about them.
I was pretty apprehensive about sharing my lists. The first one was rather easy. I remember many of the things that first attracted me to Hubby. The negative and positive attributes right now worried me. My negative list for him was twice as long as the positive one. Should I rewrite them, leaving a bunch of the negatives off this time? It wasn't honest and we promised to be completely open while doing this experiment, so I left the lists alone. Here's the funny thing - he had the same thoughts. While I can tell you that I'm so great that his negative list wasn't twice as long as the positive one, I have to admit that the positive one wasn't all that long and it mainly centered on things like, "You're a great mom."
The lists ended up being a great thing for us. The negatives were especially good. Rather than going about sharing them in a nagging way, or receiving them in a defensive way, we did a good job of being objective. For every negative, we each had a chance to say why we act or behave in such a way and then shared possible solutions or compromises. By the time we were done, we both felt a great connection and understanding with each other. And the first list - the one about what first attracted us to one another - was a wonderful reminder of our beginnings. I can say that we were both feeling turned on after sharing those lists and reminiscing over some of our first encounters!
And that brings me to part two of Day 3. This was really weird for me (hubby loved it!) We were supposed to go somewhere public, act like we didn't know each other, and pick each other up! Yes - you hear about people doing this stuff, but I never considered actually doing it. I am so glad that the booklet mentioned dressing attractively, not in your everyday garb. I'd have probably done this in my torn up jeans and stained T-shirt. Instead, I dug to the bottom of the closet and found an old mini skirt that hadn't seen the light of day for years. I even broke out the make up and attempted to do my hair.
We arranged for a neighbor to come over and hang out with Little Guy (the oldest is visiting his grandpa for a couple of weeks). We walked toward downtown all fancied up (we don't have a car - it's cheaper and greener and we live close enough to places to walk nearly everywhere.) When we got close to the bar we agreed on "meeting" in, I kept walking and Hubby walked around the block so we didn't walk in together. It would have made pretending not to know each other a little weird, you know? I went in and pretended to order a beer like I did it every Friday night - really, I can't remember the last time I was in a bar! I have to say that it made me feel pretty sexy to have a bunch of guys looking me over as I walked from the door to the bar. I'm used to just being "Mom", not "that chick over there".
I was kind of feeling weird about being so... well, sluttyfeely, and then we left holding on to one another. You should have seen to looks on some of the barflies' faces! They had been watching us all evening and I made sure to ask Hubby loud enough for them to hear, "Do you live far from here? Should we go to my place? Let's just go wherever is closer - I can't wait any longer!" I think I heard at least three jaws hit the floor before the door closed behind us - LOL!!!
All the way home, that new, excited, flirty feeling stayed with us. We had a slight downward spiral when we got home and had to say good-bye to the neighbor and put Little Guy to bed. Hubby managed to get it going again when he used his pick-up line in the kitchen as I was pouring myself some coffee (it was going to be another late night.) I'll leave the story there. Any more and my blog's going to get moved from Google's SafeSearch mode. Suffice to say, we had fun!
Would I do it again? Probably not. It certainly was worth doing this time because we really needed to go back and remember what it was that attracted us to each other in the first place. Talking about it with the lists was a good starter, but actually going to a bar and "meeting" each other all over again really helped us not just remember but experience all of those attractions all over again. We each kept our lists and look at them once in a while just to remember. I don't walk past my husband without getting a little chill down my spine nowadays! It's a wonderful feeling to be in "lust" with each other all over again.
For TWO MORE ENTRIES, comment below and tell me whether you think that picking each other up in a bar, restaurant, etc. would spice up your relationship. Do you think you could actually go through with it??? Answer the question in your first comment, then just type "Entry 2" in your second comment for two entries. Don't forget to leave your email in one of your comments.
You must have done the Mandatory entry on my original giveaway post, HERE, in order to receive the extra entries on this post. I will add these entries to the original entries when I choose a winner.
This is open to US residents. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OVER TO ENTER! Giveaway will end on July 30, 2011, at 11:59 pm EST
*I received no monetary compensation for this giveaway, this blog post, or the blog posts that will follow. I did receive a K-Y Brands Intimacy Experiment package in order to fully participate in the program and tell you about it.