Monday, October 31, 2011

I Have the Coolest Teen!

After we went trick-or-treating tonight, I saw this on Momma Jorje's Facebook status:

"It's Halloween. Tonight a lot of creatures will visit your door. Be open minded. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy might have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy might have motor planning issues. The child who does not say "trick or treat" or "thank you" might be shy or non-verbal. The child who looks disappointed when he sees you...r bowl might have an allergy. The child who isn't wearing a costume at all might have SPD or autism. The child who is screaming at the top of her lungs probably can't help it. Be nice. Be patient. Its everyone's Halloween. Make a mom feel good by making a big deal of her special child."
There was one mom who we were able to help a little. She had a little boy who was around 5. I couldn't tell what his costume was, but it was handmade with 2 pieces of poster board - hanging over his shoulders like a sign. She also had a little girl who was around 2. The baby was screaming non-stop. Not the usual "I'm tired" or "I'm having a bad time right now" scream. This was ear-piercing. She kept throwing her candy on the ground and then screaming to have it back.

The poor mom just didn't know what to do. Near the start of trick-or-treating, I heard her say, "If you don't stop, we'll have to go home." The look on that little boy's face was so heart-breaking. I just knew that this little girl probably had more than the usual "Terrible Twos" going on. I could just tell by his face that this would probably be one more time that his little sister's needs were going to come first. (Think of it from a five-year-old's perspective.)

I really didn't want to interfere. That was until one of the other parents LOUDLY made mention of what a terrible parent she must be. This snotty woman made mention of the "shitty" costume and the "bratty" baby. The mama looked like she was going to lose it - even though it was dark, those tears welling up in her eyes were clear as day.

My oldest offered to walk the little boy up to the houses - I was still trying to get my anger under control! So, I just stood with the mom and we talked. The little girl calmed down. It seems she was over-stimulated by all of the decorations and didn't want to go up to the houses. It was just too much for her. Plus, she was extremely introverted and hated going anywhere with people she didn't know around. Every time they started up the walk of a house, she thought they were going to go inside - where there would be people she didn't know. Over and over, they walked up to a house, she freaked out, then they walked away. This repetition caused her to just completely lose it and scream non-stop. My son's simple offer to walk with the little boy fixed it. Two houses down, the little girl stopped crying and was happy to sit quietly in her stroller and observe. She only cried when someone got in her face to say, "Oh, aren't you so cute!" (I'd have cried, too! LOL)

I don't know the mama's name, I don't know anything about them. We didn't get into that stuff. But she thanked me for walking with her - she said it made her feel a little stronger to have "someone on her side." The little boy was so happy with my son. He was holding hands with him and I don't think his smile could get any bigger. He had quite a haul of candy and I just know he was feeling rich!

I am so proud of my son. While I stood there, not knowing what to do, he stood up and did the perfect thing. I'd probably have said something nasty back to snotty woman. Possibly starting a yelling match, most definitely bringing even more unwanted attention to the mama. When I told my son how proud I was of him, on the way home, he looked at me like I was nuts. "What for?" "Uh, helping that little boy have a great Halloween." He just shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes at me. "Mom, it's not like I wasn't going to the houses with Little Guy anyway. What's one more kid?" I'm not sure if he was just playing it off, or if he really had no idea how wonderful his simple action was and what it meant to the mama, her daughter, and her son.

I wish I had seen Mamma Jorge's status before we went out. I'd have shared everywhere. Maybe if I'd have done that, it could have gotten to snotty woman before she had gone trick-or-treating...


Frugal Jen said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow. Very cool. You've done a great job raising your son. Thanks for reminding all of us that many mom's struggle with kids who need a litle "extra" something, especially patience. God Bless.

Vanessa said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

This makes me a little teary, in a good way. I think you have an amazing son! The extra bit of kindness you showed that mother changed her night from being miserable to enjoyable. Sounds like a great Halloween to me.

Beth ( said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am your newest follower =-)

Kelly said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I totally needed a smile tonight and this gave me a big one. :D Thanks for sharing this story...your son is awesome!!

Emily Reviews said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow this is so sweet! For those of us who aren't used to being around children with "invisible" special needs, it's easy to forget that the kid tantruming in walmart might not be naughty at all, but instead completely incapable of "behaving better." That being said - I'm always shocked at grown women (or men) who say rude things to parents out loud. Sure, it might look like bad parenting but how anyone could possibly feel that it's their right to publicly judge and intentionally humiliate another person is beyond me. Seems like "that mom" needed some better parenting herself - maybe then she would have learned to not say anything if she doesn't have anything nice to say lol.

Alicia C. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Emily Reviews I think that what bothered me the most, beyond the woman publicly humiliating another person for no good reason, is that her kids will probably grow up modeling her behavior. In fact, I can't help but wonder if her kids are the class bullies...

Alicia C. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

@Frugal Jen My son's father died of cancer when our son was only 7 years old. At 13, I see more and more of his dad's characteristics and personality in him. It just amazes me. This act of kindness that he took upon himself was exactly what his father would have done.

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