Here We Go... Again!

I am so sorry that I've been AWOL for so long. Things have been pretty bad around here, but I'm working hard to set things straight. Please don't take the following as a bunch of whining. I'm trying to figure out the best way to lay it out for you so you can understand without sounding as if it's the end of the world. It's not.But I want to be honest about this stuff, too. Just know that, while these things weigh on me every day, I won't let the bad dominate the good. Sometimes just acting cheerful can help bring up your spirits to where you're no longer acting.

If His Head Wasn't Attached... {Oliver's Labels}

My oldest's high school allows students to carry water bottles (with water only!)to class. This keeps students hydrated, especially in the dry winter months, and keeps down student requests for hall passes to get drinks from the water fountains. My son seems to always be thirsty, so having his water bottle in class is very important to him. Unfortunately, he loses everything. It doesn't matter if it's something as insignificant as a pencil or the memory stick containing all of his homework files - he'll lose it. And, often, lost items are never seen again. I think his stuff all ends up in the same place that lost socks and mittens go. So, it has been no surprise to learn that he's lost yet another water bottle. This year, his total is already up to 12 - that's more that one bottle every 2 weeks since school has started!

I had been casually looking around online for some name labels for his bottles that he'd not be embarrassed to use. Because, let's face it, many of the more affordable labels have icons that are meant for the 3 to 9-year-old crowd. The more sophisticated labels available are usually just to darn expensive for our budget. I was so happy to have the opportunity to try out Oliver's Labels.

London Primrose Design

Oliver's Labels has a wide array of label designs and styles. Designs range from trains and butterflies children, to roses and carnations for adults, to allergy labels - they have it all. They even offer labels with your own QR Code included, if you have a business or Web page that you'd like to direct others to check out. Their styles consist  the typical name labels in a variety of sizes to stick onto cups and pencils, photo labels, iron-on labels for clothing, show labels, and even wristbands. Oliver's Labels even offers easy packages of labels that include everything you need for going to camp, clothing, and preschool!

I chose the Crossbones design for my sample pack of labels for review and had my oldest's last name added. I received a variety of styles - Original Labels, Shoe Labels, Mini Labels, and Stick-eez™  Clothing Labels. I immediately put the original labels on his remaining water bottles. The mini labels were attached to his favorite mechanical pencil (he loves drawing with it!), and I put the show labels into his new track shoes. I love that they are all waterproof and don't fade! So far, they're all still in place and, no matter how hard I scrub those water bottles, how far he runs in those shoes, and how much he uses that pencil, those labels look as if I just put them on the items today. The clothing stickers are just wonderful, too. I was afraid that stickers would end up falling off in the washer, but they're steadfast! For a kid who loses stuff like my oldest, these are invaluable for getting his jackets returned and keeping his trunks and towels for swimming in his possession.

The biggest test was making sure he wouldn't be embarrassed to use the items that had these new labels attached. Because, really, what's the point of having the labels if he won't take the bottles to school? He loved them! In fact, he even had a few of his friends and even a couple of teachers ask where I got them.

It has been three weeks and he has left his water bottle on the school bus and in the lunch room. He even left one of his favorite hoodies on the city bus. So far, though, his forgetfulness hasn't resulted in yet another loss. Every time, the items have been returned. (I'm glad we live in a small enough town that the hoodie found its way back because someone knew who the name on the label belonged to!) I am considering getting a "Found-It" subscription for all of the things that my family loses (unfortunately, it's not just my oldest who has this problem!). Guess what - Oliver's Labels has an option to include the Found-It code on your labels. So, if I do end up subscribing, I'll be sure to check out Oliver's.

So, if you're in need of some good labels that look cool and can withstand the wear and tear that kids tend to put them through, go check out Oliver's Labels first. In addition to their Web site, you can also find them on their Blog and connect with them on Facebook and Twitter.
I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Don't Throw Out The Baby with the Bathwater!

When I was a kid, my brother, sister, and I had "bath night". One night a week. It was usually on Wednesday because that's when The Dukes of Hazzard was on TV. My dad (he raised us) would fill the tub, set my little brother up with a snack in front of the TV - where he'd be glued until the last "YEE-HAW! - and my sister and I would go first. By the time he wrangled us into the tub, scrubbed us, and managed to wash and rinse both of our heads of hair (Against our "EEEK! Don't get it in my eyes!!!" protests), the TV show would be over. He didn't drain the water and re-fill the tub for my brother. He'd just add a little hot water to warm it up and it would be his turn yell about soap in his eyes. I was able to watch my sister while my brother, who absolutely hated baths, screamed like a banshee the entire time he was in the tub. No wonder we only got one bath a week!

I've been thinking about this lately because my kids have always had 2 - 3 baths a week until recently - my oldest MUST take a shower daily and Little Guy has been cut back to once a week. I think the new schedule for my oldest is pretty much self-explanatory to anyone who has had a teen boy in their home for more than a week! As for Little Guy, there were a couple of reasons for my changing things up.

First, we're cutting down on our water usage and baths take a lot of water. Next, he really doesn't get that dirty. I mean, he is covered by clothes most of the time, it's cold out so he's not sweating like crazy, and the dirtiest parts of him get washed many times a day - hands and face. In the summertime, he tends to get dirtier, but with his regular rinse-offs in the wading pool and sprinkler, a quick towel-off at the end of the day usually does the trick. If he happens to get extra-dirty one day, he can take a quick shower with me.

Finally, it's just easier. In my experience, many children have some fear of baths when they are around 18 months to 2 years old. Little Guy passed this stage with absolutely no problems. In fact, he used to smell his armpits and declare, "Ooo! I'm stinky and dirty! I sure need a bath." in hopes that we'd fill the tub. Sometimes he'd do this multiple times a day. But, recently, he's become afraid. I blame my husband for both of his fears: 1) The monster who lives in the drain, and 2) Getting shampoo in his eyes. Yep. He did it - he told Little Guy that there is a monster in the drain. He only had to say it out loud one time, during a very trying bath time where Little Guy kept jamming his entire hand down the drain. He was so afraid that his hand would get stuck and had tried everything else. It was one of those stupid things you say as a last resort and regret it even as the words are coming out of your mouth. I cannot get Little Guy to believe that Daddy was joking - he's scared!

Before the fears set in...

As for the shampoo... Little Guy used to love having water poured over his head. This made washing his hair the funnest part of giving him a bath. Then, one day, my husband couldn't find Little Guy's shampoo and decided to use the cold-process soap (yeah, the stuff that's made with lye) on his hair. The soap got into his eyes and burned and burned. Now, getting his hair washed is a nightmare. He kicks and screams and splashes. I had to go back to using tear-free shampoos because he squirms around so much that it's impossible to keep his eyes shampoo-free. Our city's use of chlorine in the water isn't helping matters - the water stings my eyes when I shower! His hair gets washed only when it loses its curl and starts looking dirty - I cannot see why I should wrestle him down once a week to clean mostly-clean hair.

So, due to Little Guy's bath strike and my oldest's need to take more showers, I've just been thinking a lot about bathing. Especially bathing throughout history. I remember reading that, in the western US, when pioneers were just beginning to settle, people took very few baths. Water was pretty scarce in most places. Ma would fill up a half-barrel with hot water and the entire family would wash in it every couple of weeks - sometimes just once a month! You know that saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater"? That comes from this little tidbit: Families would bathe in order from oldest to youngest, leaving the baby last. By the time the infant made it into the tub of luke-warm water, it'd be filthy. (I just cannot get that out of my head! I imagine that this is probably a big reason for so many disease-related infant deaths.) So that saying really hold much more meaning when you think of bathwater that is so dirty you wouldn't notice the baby in there!

I guess I'm done with my pointless rambling. The subject's just been on my mind.

How often do you bathe your children? Do you think it's too much, just right, or not enough?

OH, What a Day It's Been!

Yesterday was a blissful day filled with peace. When Little Guy awoke, he sat up, stretched, and said, "A new day!" Made me smile to hear him say that because when I wake up, I usually say it to myself, in my mind. He must have made up his mind then and there to try his hardest to be "nice" to everyone. (We use "nice", "mean", "happy", etc. to describe how we're feeling and acting around here - I avoid "good" and "bad" as much a possible.) He was nice! He didn't whine or cry a split second after he realized we weren't going to do things his way. Instead, he would say, "Stop, stop, stop! I have to talk now. I want ____ because ___." And, we listened. Sometimes, he ended up getting what he wanted, other times we were able to explain calmly and rationally why he couldn't have what he wanted. He'd be sad or angry for a minute or two (and he told us this), so we'd try to help him cope with those feelings. Then, we'd move on.

There was no yelling, throwing toys, hitting, or deliberately doing the exact opposite of what we asked or what he knew to be one of our steadfast rules.All of those are things that usually occur on a daily, and sometimes hourly, basis around here. When I suggested that he might like to lay down to rest, he hopped into bed. At dinnertime, he told me how yummy the bread was. He kept his toys cleaned up without me even asking him. When he laid down in bed that night - ON HIS OWN - to go to sleep, I started to wonder what happened to my kid. Did he switch personalities with some other kid? Were there parents somewhere wondering why their normally easy-going and docile child had acted like a little nut all day?

Then today happened and I know that he didn't have a major shift in personalities. I woke up when he jabbed my closed eyes with his fingers. Before I could even sit up, he was jumping on the bed and demanding that I make him some tea, "NOW, MAMA!" Well, at least I knew better than to count on yesterday's behavior coming back again today, right?

But, you see, today has been quite awful and has put me to the test. I think that all of the orneriness that he didn't release yesterday built up and just popped a cork. It came pouring out today. Now, usually he drinks his tea and I drink my coffee first thing in the morning while we talk about our plans for the day. I'll make a list of what needs to be done and he'll come up with the fun ideas. My stuff consists of cleaning and cooking, his has things like "Do a project with paint" and "Go to the library". Well, today's list was a little different. His plans went like this:

• I not goin' to listen to anybody
• I goin' to make a mess
• I not clean my toys
• I throw cars
• I goin' to be loud
• I throw my food on floor and smash it
• I goin' to head-bup [head-butt] and bite Brubber

It goes on and on - he pretty much listed everything that he could possibly think of that we do not like him doing.I diligently wrote his list out for him and then we went over it and I asked him why he wanted to do each thing. We really couldn't come up with answers. I thought maybe he'd had a bad dream and woke up angry or upset, but his dreams sounded like good ones to me.

Now, one of the things about our lists is we get to cross things off as we do them. And I really didn't know what to do with this list he had made. We weren't going to keep it! I asked him if maybe we could make a new list of fun things to do and he agreed. So we got rid of the old one and made a more normal list. Well, I might have thrown out the written list, but he had it in his head and crossed out every one of his plans before lunch. He's finally taking a nap and I am hoping he'll wake up in a much better mood. I don't know if I can stand an entire evening with this mess. Evenings are usually his worst behavioral times anyway, so I'm pretty creeped out by the thoughts of his determination to be a monster boy added to an already nasty time of the day...

I can't help but wonder if he's conducting an experiment. Maybe he's planned it all out: One day be nice, the next day be mean. Maybe he'll be an amazingly happy kid tomorrow? I can't see it happening in a child so young, but he's never been typical in his thinking. Only time will tell...

And, when he wakes from his nap, I'm filling him up with some chamomile and peppermint tea. It's worth a try to get him relaxed right away!

Week 3: January 15 - 21, 2010 {#Mamatography}

It was so hard to choose photos for this week's Mamatography post. It seemed like I had the camera out all of the time. And we did so much! I had the kids help me choose which picture to include and this is what we decided on:

Day 15 (1/15/12)

"I push this button!"

Little Guy was just thrilled when "Brubber" invited him to play computer games on his laptop with him. Usually, we try to keep him away from our computers because he gets over-excited AND had that "I know what I'm doing and I'm going to do it myself" attitude going. The two of those, together, usually equal a computer that is completely frozen up within minutes and hours of trying to figure out how to fix it. But, my oldest patiently kept little guy in check and found a game that would allow him to use the mouse pad easily. He had the BEST time!

Day 16 (1/16/12)

Warm Winter's Catnap

Number 1 has been in heaven lately. He comes into the house after spending a few hours in the freezing cold, gets a bite to eat, then lays down somewhere for a nap - purring the entire time. I can't help but wonder if he ran into a stray who told him he should be grateful for a warm home and food in his belly. He's been showing his appreciation in many ways, too. He knows how much I like a kitty sitting on my lap, but he never really cared for it himself. Not recently! He's been bringing up "presents" to the door (and sometimes tries to sneak them into the house) in the form of field mice. My oldest usually is the recipient of these gifts, since he's often the first one to leave the house in the morning! And, he has even been hanging out with Little Guy, who has just recently made the differentiation between stuffed animal and real animal.

Day 17 (1/17/12)

Goofball

If you're my friend on Facebook, you already know about this picture. My oldest borrowed my camera for a school project he had to do (how cool is it that he can email his homework to his teachers?!) And, while he had the camera, he had to screw around a little, right? I found about 20 goofy pictures of him and his friend on my camera after he returned it to me. I jokingly told him that he should always delete photos after uploading, or they could make their way into the wrong hands. Then I mentioned putting one of the pictures on Facebook and tagging him in it. The kid actually DARED me to do it. Well, being the mom that I am, that's exactly what I did. I started feeling bad a few minutes later, so I removed the tag (the picture is still there.) I just don't know if one of his classmates might get a hold of his goofy picture and turn it into some kind of nasty joke. So, it's on my wall and he can tag himself in it if he wants. And I'll be having prints made of these photos because they are just too fun to forget about!

Day 18 (1/18/12)

You Could Have Put Your Eye Out!

You know how you're always warning kids to be careful with scissors? Yeah... While Little Guy and I were making our Craft Idea Book, I put the scissors down for a split second. That was long enough for him to come charging across the room at full-speed to grab them. Only I was faster and snatched them up. And, as you can see by the picture, I didn't do so safely. I stabbed myself in the hand - and it was a bloody one. Little Guy's eyes were like saucers when he saw what had happened. I think that he truly did not believe me all of those times I told him that scissors are dangerous. He probably thought I was just saying it to keep him from having all of the cutting-up-paper-fun. Ever since this occurrence, though, he hasn't tried to get my scissors. And I'm on the look-out for a good pair of child safety scissors for him. It is fun to cut paper and why should I be the only one to enjoy it?

Day 19 (1/19/12)

My Very Cold Friend

It was so cold! The wind was blowing like mad and the temperature, without taking windchill into account, was 9F. We have a pair of Blue Jays that have decided to winter in the woods behind our house and I couldn't help but see this bright blue guy all puffed up and trying to stay warm when I passed the window. I tossed a handful of seeds out for him and he quickly swooped down from his perch to fill his stomach.

Day 20 (1/20/12)

The Sick Blanket

Another chilly day. Rather than heading outside, Little Guy and I had an all-day indoor camping trip. This picture was taken early on in our day. We ended up making a campfire out of paper towel tubes and tissue paper. We made beds and Little Guy took a nap in his tent. We had snacks. We even went fishing, using sticks, yarn and paper clips for hooks. We didn't catch anything and concluded that fish do not like gummy worms, so we ate the worms for "dinner", instead!

See that striped, crocheted blanket? My great-grandmother made that before I was born (I think it may even be older than my mom.) It is known as "The Sick Blanket" because that is the blanket that we used whenever we were ill and laid on the couch in the living room all day, while our mom or dad nursed us back to health. It is used for the same purpose for my kids and, hopefully, one of them will become as attached as I have to it and their kids will get to know The Sick Blanket, as well. And when we were well, that blanket made the BEST tents... Still does!

Day 21 (1/21/12)

Wintertime

This is the picture of winter in my mind. Sled and squirrel tracks in the snow. Kids' footprints, big and small. The sunshine creating those cool blue shadows that you can only see in the wintertime across the snow...














So, what did your week look like? If you'd like to join me in this endeavor, just click on the Mamatography button at the top of this post to learn more. I'll be linking this post at Diary of a First Child's Week 3 Mamatography Linky when it's posted on Wednesday (1/25), so if you'd like to see more photos you should head over!

See's Candies Brings Back Wonderful Memories {Review}

When we lived in Los Angeles, there was one store we'd always make a point to go into whenever we had a chance: See's Candies. They had the BEST chocolate I had ever eaten, and whenever you passed through the doors, a friendly See's worker would hold out a piece of candy and ask, "Would you like to try our <insert name of one of their 100+ varieties of chocolates>  today?" FREE CHOCOLATE! I learned that my favorites are Dark Bordeaux, Scotch Kiss, and Walnut Square. My oldest, who was just a little guy at the time, knew that he could always walk out of there with a Vanilla or Butterscotch Lollipop stuck in his mouth.

When we moved back east, I knew that See's Candies would be one of the things I'd miss most about L.A. Real candy stores are few and far between around here and, if you happen to find one, you're not going to get a free sample every time you walk into the store! Imagine how thrilled I was to find that See's Candies can be ordered online and even via catalog.

I received my first catalog in the mail about a year ago. I leafed through it over and over, reliving memories and drooling over some of my favorites. Things got busy, as they always do, and I set the catalog on the counter to take care of Little Guy. When my oldest arrived home from school, he saw that catalog and suddenly remembered all of the great times he'd had at See's Candy with me and his dad. He did the same thing I did with the catalog, often asking me if he ever tried this or that variety and whether he liked it. Seeing how thrilled he was about that catalog, I was able to save up a little extra money and ordered him a big box of chocolates for his birthday. He still has the box, which he keeps all of his important little mementos of L.A. in.

Do you have any candy stores in your area like See's Candies? 

Or, maybe memories of great candy stores from your youth? 

I'd love to hear them!

*** Disclosure: This post was written as part of my participation with Blogvertise.com. I will receive compensation for this post. All opinions are mine.

Reuse Last Year's Planners and Calendars!

What do you do with your old planners, schedule books, and calendars? I have one wall calendar, hanging by my desk, where I write down all of our plans and milestones. I save that one in a file box. It's kind of like a record of all of the things we did that year. I also have a planner that I use to keep track of blog posts and gardening (like when I planted the peas and when I picked the first tomato.) My husband has a day planner that he keeps all of his scheduled doctor's appointments in. And my oldest, of course, has a student planner that he is supposed to use to keep all of his assignments straight in - he doesn't use it very often... We also receive a few free promo planners in the mail that I usually give to Little Guy to write his "lists" of things to do in - just like Mommy, Daddy, and Brubber do.

At the end of the year, we find that we have these planners and calenders just sitting here. We don't want to throw them out, but what good are they? I'll tell you! You can use them as idea books.

As I was cleaning out my very messy corner of craft supplies, I found the stack of magazines and catalogs that I've been hoarding. Each one had at least one great idea that I wanted to use - a kids' craft, recipe, or DIY project. I really didn't have anywhere to put all of these magazines and, heck, I didn't even know which idea I was saving each book for just by looking at the cover. So, Little Guy and I went through each one and cut out all of the good ideas that we wanted to make someday.
Most of the time, I could just cut out a photo from the magazine or catalog and that would be enough. I don't really like following step-by-step instructions for things that are creative. Instructions make me feel as if I'm doing it wrong if I veer from the "rules" that have been set down. Plus, I tend to read the "Supplies Needed" list and, if I don't have one, I'll skip the project until I do have everything. By just having a photo of what I want to make, I can use my own imagination to figure out how to go about creating the item and which supplies we can use.

So, we spent a couple of afternoons just flipping through those magazines and catalogs, cutting out pictures of things that looked like fun. Now we had a pile of clippings. How was I going to keep them in some kind of order without losing them? As I pondered, hubby came through with his old planner and asked if he could throw it away (See how I have him asking about throwing things out? He's learned not to toss anything into the trash can before asking if I need it for something. Even banana peels are saved here - they add LOTS of potassium to the garden soil!) His asking me at that particular time was perfect - I could use the planner for the clippings!

I arranged the clippings into piles for each month - snowy/winter crafts for January, hearts and lovey crafts for February, etc. When he awoke, we got working on our books. His job was to put a tiny dot of glue onto each cut-out and place it on the planner page for the corresponding month. My job was to hand him the clippings, suggest a good place to glue the clipping (overlap can happen in an instant with an excited little guy!), and help turn the pages of the planner. Now we have our "Idea Book" to look at whenever we're feeling crafty. We can just open it up to the current month and choose from the pictures.


I also used planners for recipes and DIY projects. The recipe book was made from a planner that had an entire page for each day. There are many more pages in that book so I could clip the entire recipe (no, I can't just look at a picture of food and figure it out! LOL) and have room for more. Stew, soups, and other hearty, stick-to-your ribs recipes are glued into the winter months' pages. Quick, warm dinner ideas are in the November and December pages for those days when we're busy with holiday-related activities and there just isn't time for big, complicated dinners. And, of course, I have light, cool dishes in August; and I've got picnic-type recipes stuck to the June and July pages. Birthday cake ideas are now easy to find by turning to the months for everyone's birthdays.

My DIY book is separated by the seasons, rather than months. I simply took a marker and drew a border around each page for each season - blue for winter, green for spring, red for summer (hey, it's hot out!), and orange for fall. The times of year that each project would best be done is where I glued those clippings. So, I have a really neat indoor seed starter idea pasted on a green page. And there is a pretty wind chime made with dried leaves in the orange section. See what I mean?

I have more ideas for making other books:

• I'm going to start looking for homeschooling ideas next, since Little Guy is getting to the right stage to start more learning activities. 
• My oldest keep magazines for drawing ideas that he has seen in them - I think I could persuade him to cut the ideas out and recycle the magazines.
• My husband takes a zillion different medications. He also collects old PDR's. I wonder if I could get him to cut the drug info and photos for each thing he takes and glue them into an old planner? It sure would take up less space than 6 old PDR's (have you seen how big they are?!). Plus, he'd have a little book to take to doctor's appointments, showing exactly what he takes. He could even pencil in the amounts and frequencies of each medication. I know that, if he ever keeled over, I'd have a list of meds to take to the ER with me for easy reference for the ER doctors.

I'd love to hear your ideas of books these used-up 

planners and calendars could be re-purposed into. 

What kind of clippings would YOU glue into an old planner???

Week 2 - January 8 - 14, 2012 {#Mamatography}

Well, I can't believe I've made it to the second week! I seem to always have good intentions when I start this type of thing. Unfortunately, when I miss a day or two, I seem to give up. I know there are other "take a picture a day for a year" memes out there, but I chose this one for a couple of reasons: 1) I love reading Diary of a First Child. 2) The guidelines of Mamatography are very laid back, making it feel less of an obligation and more of a fun experiment. The one thing that really hooked me was this from the Mamatography info post:

"If things happen and you can’t participate for a while, that’s fine – just start up again when you can."

Yay For Clean Dishes!

Day 8 (1/8/12)

Yeah, I was lazy. The only thing I did that was productive all day. Well, I made dinner, too, but it shouldn't count. I just opened a jar of spaghetti sauce, then added a few herbs and the leftover meatloaf from the night before. Oh, and cooked some pasta.

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night

Day 9 (1/9/12)

I saw the moon and just had to take a picture! I love how the clouds give a smoky, mysterious feel to the photo. And the corona is so bright! It was easier to see the line between the moon and the corona circling it with the naked eye than through the lens on my camera. One of these days I'll learn how to take photos that look the same as how I see them.

Mustache Man!

 Day 10 (1/10/12)

When my oldest was little, he called these beans. Well, actually, he still does (and so do I!) Little Guy, who seems to have a different way of looking at everything, has decided that they are not beans. They are most definitely mustaches, instead. Just after this picture was taken, my oldest came up and asked Little Guy what he was doing with the "bean". He got an earful and I don't think he'll be calling them anything but "mustaches" around Little Guy again!!

Zzzz...

Day 11 (1/11/12)

This hasn't happened... ever! He said, "Mama, please be quiet. I need a rest. I'm in a grumpy mood." Once I got over my shock, I began to wonder if he might be getting sick. Nope. Wouldn't it be cool if he was just learning to recognize his  need for sleep AND deciding to follow it?!

"Snot's On!"

Day 12 (1/12/12)

I've taken it upon myself to develop a recipe for a cotton play dough. I want something that is pliable like dough, but fuzzy like cotton balls. This was my first (failed) attempt. I wound up with a pot full of snotty cotton. ICK!

I added a bunch of flour until it was dough-ish, and let the kids have their fun with it.

Day 13 (1/13/12)

Yeah. Completely forgot to take the camera out all day.

Uh-Oh!

Day 14 (1/14/12)

We finally got some snow! This was Little Guy's first snowball fight. As you can see, the mittens are way too big for for him (the site I got them from said they fit ages 2-5. Those things are just a little too small for me to wear!) Anyway, my oldest showed him how to take his hands and push the snow together to pack it into a snowball-like formation. Pretty cool big brother, huh?











So, what did your week look like? If you'd like to join me on this endeavor, just click on the Mamatography button at the top of this post to learn more. I'll be linking this post at Diary of a First Child's Week 2 Mamatography Linky when it's posted on Wednesday (1/18), so if you'd like to see more photos you should head over!

Making Time for Me {Mindful Parenting Collaboration #5}

If you’re reading this, you might have the feeling that you want to change some of your parenting practices or, perhaps, you're curious about “mindful parenting” and what it could be. Well, congratulations for taking a moment from your day to click on the link. Erin of it’s OK and I are going to be working together over the next 40 weeks (!) on a journey toward more mindful parenting and would love to have you join us. To learn how we envision The Mindful Parenting Collaboration working, please read the introductory post HERE.

My post last week threw some readers for a loop. I received some private correspondence via my contact form that went from someone telling me what a terrible person I am all the way to someone sharing a story very close to mine that occurred on New Year's Day, too. I received reprimands, congratulations, and pats on the back. I know that what I told you about my lovely explosive reaction to being out of milk was pretty extreme. It was the result of self-neglect and holding everything in for a very long time. Just like the bottles of champagne that many people had shaken up just before midnight the night before, I blew my cork.

I am not proud of what happened. I probably would have not shared it here if the topic had been anything else! I apologized to my family. I felt guilty about my outburst for days. I even had nightmares about it. It took me a while to realize the root of the problem. I shared the experience here because I wanted you to know what could happen when we don't take care of ourselves as individuals. Taking care of our families is important, but we really can't be the best parent or partner if we neglect ourselves.

Below, I've shared some of the things I did over the past week to take care of myself, both mentally and physically.

Friday

Just after dinner, I left the dirty dishes in the sink. I told hubby that he was in charge of Little Guy - I was taking a bath. Soaked for an hour AND read a magazine. Actually shaved! THEN, took a shower, too. OMG! It felt so good to have that time to myself. I don't think it was the shower so much as the quiet and space to think. Yes, it felt over-indulgent, but the little bit of guilt was worth it.

Saturday

I won a $25 Gift Card to Sears recently. I had planned on using it to buy something we needed: a new toaster, for instance. Then I realized that I could use it at K Mart, too. You know what I did? I spent most of it on myself! I literally haven't had new underwear since BEFORE I got pregnant with Little Guy. Every pair O owned was either full of holes, stretched out, or totally unraveling. I bought 6 new pairs! (Came home and relegated the old ones to the rag pile!) I also got myself a new razor - the one I used last night was rusty and dull. I bought two brand new washcloths for just me. They're bright pink so no one forgets! I'm tired of hubby and oldest using a new washcloth every time they wash some part of their body, leaving me none. I bought a bottle of nail polish, too. This is another thing I haven't had since before I got preggo. I plan to use it, too! Oh, and I got an address book and a planner for my blog.  I really wanted a separate address book to keep track of my invisible friends in the computer. And, though I have a wall calendar where I keep track of my blogging, I really wanted a small book-type planner that I could carry around with me to keep ideas and plans as they come to me - lest I forget.

I did but some household stuff, too. Mainly toilet paper and cat food - things we always need. This, too, felt indulgent. I was very close to pulling my cart out of the check-out lane to put most of it back and get that toaster and maybe a family game, but then it was my turn to pay. I'm so glad I bought the stuff. I can't tell you how nice it feels to know I have pretty undies on! And I can't wait to give myself a mani/pedi.

Sunday

Didn't do much of anything specifically for myself, although I did use all of nap time to write blog posts and I spent a few hours after he went to bed reading and commenting on others' blog posts and entering giveaways.

Monday

My husband and oldest took Little Guy out for an "explorer adventure" in the woods. They had planned to be gone for just an hour or so. They ended up gone for 2 1/2 hours! I took the time to wash the dishes (without a 3 y.o.'s "help") and do some baking. I even got to wear headphones and listen to music because I didn't have to keep an ear open to listen for crashes or the eerie silence of sneakiness. And, when they got home, there were freshly baked cookies greeting them! (BONUS: The extra-long walk tired out Little Guy enough to knock him out for a 2-hour nap!)

Tuesday

This was they day that we went on a nature walk and made our terrariums. Both of these events had a little in store for me as well as Little Guy. The walk was great because the area is open enough and safe enough foe him to run wild without me having to reel him in closer to me. I had a chance to enjoy being outside and was able to take extra time to look closely at the trees, watch wildlife, and take photos. And, making the terrariums was a lot of fun, too. I was able to release some pent-up creativity while also doing a project with Little Guy. I did not have to go out of my way today to find a way to get some isolated "me time" in.

Wednesday

Just not a good day. No time for myself and no time for much of anything else. The only time I had to myself was when I headed into the bathroom and screamed into a towel. Hey - it was better than reliving the scene I made on New Year's Day and it helped me get through the rest of the day.

Little Guy was in an ornery mood and tried every way he could to get me to explode. Yes, he was really trying - after he would do something (like drop a toy car into his peed-in potty), he'd look at me to see if I'd notice. I am pretty sure he was just testing limits, but an entire day of his testing had me close to the edge. And I'm not kidding, it was as if he was brainstorming and testing - "If this didn't make mama yell, maybe this will..."

And hubby was no help at all. He came into the living room to give me a break. Little Guy decided to test him, too. Within 5 minutes, my husband decided he just couldn't take it anymore and hid in the bedroom. As he was scurrying away, he looked at me and said, "I just can't get him to listen to me and you won't make him do what I say!" I have a LOT to say about this, but not now. This post would turn into a HUGE rant and that's not what it's about.

And, yes, the oldest was in on "make mom lose her cool" day, too. It wasn't any one thing from him, just lots of little stuff. He dropped his school stuff in the middle of the kitchen floor and left it there - he knows where to put it and that's NOT the place. He stood in the kitchen, eating some candy someone gave him at school, making all of the "mmmm!" sounds - three feet away from Little Guy. When Little Guy asked for some, he popped the last piece in his mouth and told him it was all gone, tough luck. (Teasing drives me nuts, especially when someone his age is doing it. He should know better. But, I do know that whatever the disparity of their ages, sibling rivalry lives.) He complained about dinner not being done, but refused to keep an eye on his little brother so I could make it. Etc. Typical teen behavior that I can usually deal with calmly, but after the rest of the day, this was the cherry on top.

Thursday

This is the last day I'm keeping track of what I've done for myself. My oldest forgot to set his alarm clock, so he missed the bus to school. When Little Guy woke up, he snuck into our room and quietly put puzzles together with him while I SLEPT IN! Now, my oldest got into a little trouble because he knows that he was supposed to head downtown and jump on a city bus to go to school. He is also required to pay for his bus ride because he is the one responsible for setting the alarm. His excuse for not doing that was because he didn't want to spend the money. Boy, is he lucky he let Mom sleep until 11am!

Since he didn't do what he was supposed to regarding missing the bus, he became "Bidderman" (definition for a Bidderman is at the link, second from last paragraph. I highly recommend getting your own if you have a teen or tween.) for the day, which gave me time to do more baking and play around on the computer. I looked up some recipes for hulled barley and am really looking forward to making them. I also managed to create a grocery list and match up coupons to it without having Little Guy's "help", making the job last 10 minutes rather than an hour!

Everyday

• Meditation - Now, I've tried and tried to meditate and just couldn't. Too many thoughts running in and out of my head. Most started with, "Instead of this, I really should be doing..." Well, on Friday, I decided to give it a try again. I usually lay with Little Guy as he goes to sleep at night and watch an old movie or nature documentary with the sound off and closed captions on. I also list in my head all of the things I need to do. I decided to turn off the TV and just lay there, in the near-dark, thinking of... nothing. It took me some time to get all of those nagging thoughts out of my head. But, one-by-one, they flew out (through my ear?) I felt at peace. I floated on the bed. I was unconsciously smiling! Eventually, I got up and realized that I'd spent an entire hour, after Little Guy had passed out, just relaxing. I've done this every night since and I can't tell you how wonderful I feel. Some nights are harder than others to "find my bliss", but I'm getting the hang of it. It seems like my mind knows when that hour is up, too. So far, I haven't gone over or under it. 
• First cup of coffee by myself. 

I cannot believe the difference that taking a little time for myself has made in my mood and my responses to my family. Doing things for myself each day still makes me feel guilty, though. I keep thinking about what I should be doing instead. I think that I will eventually get over this little hiccup, though.

I want to take more time to be creative. I could have done so during some of the time I was given to do so, but I found out something: I can't think of what to do! Creating used to be so natural. I'd pick up a pencil and doodle a little something. Pretty soon, I had a page covered. Then, I was coloring it in. As I created, I'd get a great idea for painting or drawing a more permanent form of my doodle and off I'd go. Now, when I start to doodle, all I seem to draw are monster trucks and trains. I have a couple of items that I really want to make, but I'm just sitting here, waiting for some inspiration. I might have to give myself a jump start by forcing the issue at first...

I never did get around to doing my nails. Oh, well. There's always next week, right?

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I Don't Do New Year's Resolutions

This time of year, I see tons of posts, news articles, and commercials that all revolve around New Year's Resolutions. I don't play into that one. For me, creating a list of things that I resolve to do to change myself is just a set-up for failure. Yes, there are ways to make it easier, such as creating large goals and then listing small goals that work as stepping stones toward the main thing you want to change. But, with me, if I miss out on a deadline for one of those goals - large or small - I tend to give up.

That doesn't mean that I let January 1st go by just like every other day on the calendar. Instead, I like to think of the new year as a clean slate. Right now, I am working hard to get my home in order. The place is a mess. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll know that my husband likes finding stuff that people throw out that is still usable. Now, I have absolutely no problem using others' trash. BUT, when he keeps bringing home stuff that we really have no use for, it's not OK. Every inch of storage space we have is filled with things like extra sheets, sets of flatware, brand new & still wrapped VHS tapes (we don't even have a VCR!), small bookshelves... he even has a crib mattress in a closet - we co-sleep!

He's not the only one with a problem. I save jars, cardboard boxes, plastic containers, etc. These are things that I just know will be useful for crafting, gift-giving, or just plain reusing. But do I really need 10 empty spaghetti sauce jars? Or a stack of the fronts of pasts boxes (they have those little windows and I plan , someday, create picture frames from them)? I managed to clean out about 1/3 of these items over the holiday as packaging for gifts, but that barely touched on what needs to be done.

I want to mark the new year with a little more space in our home. I don't want to have to look for a place to put things that won't cause an avalanche of junk to cascade onto the floor. I also want to be able to clean more effectively. I haven't cleaned the entire kitchen floor in one session since I went into nesting mode when I was pregnant with little guy. I can't right now - I have to move boxes of books and paperwork from point A to point B to clean under them, wait for it to dry, then move them back. By that time, something else needs to be done, like make dinner or put Little Guy down for a nap. So, the next few days are all about purging and scrubbing.

I'm also trying to spend more time with Little Guy. He's been a real nightmare to be around lately. I'm really hoping that some serious one-on-one time in which we work together to complete a project will help get us back in tune with one another. He's also been trying to teach himself how to read, so we need to spend more time reading books with simple words together. I'm not waiting until January 1st to turn over a new parenting leaf, though. Spending quality time with my kid shouldn't be something that I need to have a goal set to motivate me into doing. I do, however, want to start that new calendar with new priorities, especially one that is as important as spending time with my kids.

So, in a year's time, I won't be posting about all of the resolutions that I've failed to keep. I do hope to be posting about the latest adventure that I had with my kids or the most recent piece of uselessness that I managed to donate to charity.



Do you do resolutions? Why or why not?

Here's to New Traditions! {Wordless Wednesday}

From my Facebook Page:

Monroe County Courthouse

Went to tell hubby we were leaving and snapped this. I had the camera on the wrong setting and this is what happened - kinda cool!

Me: "Get back here! It's dark and I can't see you!" I snapped the pic just so I could use the flash to locate him.

Our town's Christmas tree. :/ They lopped the top off a couple of years ago... I don't know why.

"Stick 'em up!"

Kids playing in the stage at Loranger Square. I love the metalwork of the lotus leaves & flower on this!

I stopped taking pictures after this. When we left on our little expedition, I had visions of photos with: faces in awe of the decorated homes, my guys all holding hands and enjoying the walk, the kids screwing around with each other. Nope.

The cookies and hot cocoa afterward were a hit, so at least we had that as a happy note to end on! 
I'm really hoping that we'll have more fun next year...

Cousins! {Wordless Wednesday}

 On Sunday, we spent the day at my dad's. Once a year, mt brother, sister, and I are able to all get together at the same time. Little Guy has been so excited to play with his cousins and had me show him pictures of them every day for a week leading up to the party. Now, he hasn't seen my nephew (5 months younger than Little Guy) since last Christmas, so I was a little worried that they might not really know what to do with each other. I was wrong!

With no car, my dad had to pick us up early. My guys watched a movie while waiting for everyone else to arrive.

Two minutes after his cousin got there! You just HAVE to jump on a bed like this.

I can't believe he actually sat long enough to play a game of Go Fish with my niece!

And check this one out! Awww...

LEGO!

My niece added to the party atmosphere with a little music - and Little Guy "helped"

But he's a much better dancer than he is a keyboard player!

100% Satisfied!

In Up to My Eyeballs in Melted Chocolate and Candle Wax...

I had planned on writing two posts tonight before going to bed. Not gonna happen!

Since we don't have a car, it can be kind of hard to get things done in the winter time. Well, Michigan has some of the most contrary weather I've ever witnessed. Tomorrow (Thursday) is going to be 51 degrees and partly sunny. This will be the perfect opportunity for us to walk to the post office and get our three packages of gifts mailed out. Oh, and I have got to buy stamps for our cards! I MUST remember to buy the darn stamps! Our cards have been done for a week - the first time that I've ever gotten them done when I planned - and they're just sitting here... waiting for a 3 year old with a marker to get a hold of them!

Now, I had planned to mail out our packages next Monday, but I just can't let a beautiful day in the middle of December go by without taking full advantage! Little Guy needs to get out and run (his snow pants make him waddle - it's cute, but not that great for getting around quickly), I need to go to the grocery store, I have a few more items to pick up at the thrift store for projects that I am giving on Sunday, AND I just found out that I can get free range eggs at the health food store - so I have got to stop there, too. Anyway, the date change means that I need to have all of the gifts I plan on mailing made, wrapped, packed, and addressed... TONIGHT!

I planned on making one food item per night this week. Each afternoon all week, I was to work on the homemade gifts I plan to give. They're not terribly complicated, but they do take time. Well, since those gifts and food items are all supposed to go into the packages I want to mail out, I need to get it all done tonight. I know I won't... it's too much stress and these things need to be done right. I don't want to be giving crappy gifts just because I went too fast. I also don't want to hate making this stuff. I live for the holidays. I love making things to give. Regardless, I still want to try to get as much done as possible.

Please check back tomorrow evening, though. I have a wonderful story to tell you! Plus, I have a quick giveaway to post.

Here's a preview of the story I want to tell you. 

Can you guess what's got Little Guy so excited and 

allowed me to get a photo of my teen with a genuine smile on his face?

We're in This Together (Mindful Parenting Collaboration}

Mindful Parenting Collaboration - Topic 4: Partners in Parenting

If you’re reading this, you might have the feeling that you want to change some of your parenting practices or, perhaps, you're curious about “mindful parenting” and what it could be. Well, congratulations for taking a moment from your day to click on the link. Erin of it’s OK and I are going to be working together over the next 40 weeks (!) on a journey toward more mindful parenting and would love to have you join us. To learn how we envision The Mindful Parenting Collaboration working, please read the introductory post HERE.

I know I keep saying this, but this topic is a really tough one for me to write about.Way back in June, I wrote THIS POST about some of the problems I was encountering at the time. The fifth one is about some problems between my husband and myself. They've gotten better and then worse, back and forth, since then. Our relationship is a mess right now and it's not going to be an easy fix. Most people, if I were to give them the entire story, would have told me to get the hell out a long time ago. But, in my opinion, this is one of the problems with society today: If it's broke, throw it away and get a new one. Well, I won't throw out a broken vacuum cleaner without trying every possible way I can think of to fix it and I'm not going to do that with my marriage.

However, this "broken" relationship makes parenting as partners really tough. Over the past year or so, I've slowly taken over all aspects of the role of "parent". My husband has become the teenage roommate who happens to share our space. He is a fun companion for the kids... when he feels like spending some time with them. He doesn't regularly enforce rules, he allows Little Guy to manipulate him into giving him whatever he wants. This will go on for 10 minutes to an hour until my hubby just boils over and starts yelling and threatening to spank. Not cool with me at all. Especially after he's gotten the kid all wired up and made him think that he rules all. It literally goes from "Super Crazy Fun Time" to "I've Had it!!!" in seconds. There are lots more things I could while about on the subject, but I think you might get the idea.

I don't yell at my husband. I wait until they're asleep before I attempt to confront any situations from earlier that day that I think need discussing. The spanking issue is a hot button around here. He never spanked his older kids. It's one of the things that attracted me to the guy. But now, rather than actually working at figuring out why the behavior from Little Guy is defiant, he would rather just jump to threatening to hit him. His reason for thinking spanking this child is because, "... he's just like I was as a kid and I know how to handle a kid like that." Um... yeah. So spanking kept you from starting your "career" as a drug addict at 11 years old? Spanking kept you from burning down a neighbor's house 'just because' at 13? Spanking kept you from running away from home at 15? I can go on, but you get the picture here, too, right? Anyway, that's the biggest issue we have in the parenting arena.

There are others. I really would like him to be more consistent with the time he spends with the kids. One day, he'll hang out with the family all day long. Then, there might be an entire week where he's so wrapped up in himself that he won't even bother to look at the kids. I know some of this has to do with pain. I can be understanding when he hurts so badly that he just can't concentrate on the kids. But, I really think that most of it has to do with him not feeling like it.

So, I talk to him when the kids aren't awake. I explain my reasons for how I would like the kids raised. I listen to what he has to say. Our conversations don't (usually) get out of hand and to the bitching, nagging, or yelling stage. By the time we're done, he will usually agree that he needs to work more on being consistent, not giving in to puppy dog eyes and tantrums, being around on a regular basis, etc. We'll make a plan of action so he can ease into this more easily and so the kids can get used to the changes, too. It'll work for a week or so, then it becomes too much work and he goes back to the old way of "parenting".

This past week, I followed Erin's advice of what to work on in my relationship. I'm going to have to do this more often because I'm just not sure how it's going to work out over a long period of time. The first thing she asked that we do for the topic "Partners in Parenting" was figure out what your relationship needs most and work on that one thing. The next step was to take a day and put my partner first for the entire day. They both kind of backfired on me. I think that the change in me might have confused hubby some, so I'll keep this up and see if it doesn't get better.

I think that our relationship, as a married couple and not parents, is honesty. I don't lie to my husband, but I will withhold information if it makes me "right" and him "wrong". That's a deception, too. So, I flat out told him what I was up to. I explained that I think we both need to be 100% honest about our feelings, actions, thoughts... everything. Yes, it might sting a little to hear certain things from one another, but it's important to share them rather than bottle them up. And, we're in this together: this marriage, this parenting thing, this LIFE. We have to be able to trust one another above anyone else in the world! I told him that, rather than trying to find the lie in everything he says (I swear, he lies and doesn't even have a reason except to "see if I can get away with it"), I'm going to trust that he's being honest. I do it with my kids, why not him? Well, he's been lying like crazy about all kinds of stupid things since. I think he, just like a child, is testing to see if I'll fall back into second-guessing everything he says. To see if I'll still love him even if he lies. So, it's not been all that great. I hate being lied to - it makes me feel as if I am not valuable as a person to the one who's lying. I really hope his little testing phase will be over soon...

As for the putting your partner first for the entire day... Ha! He's suspicious. Asking if he'd like me to make him a snack rather than just leaving him to do it kind of freaked him out a little. Seeing that he was having computer problems, I offered to help. I usually let him deal on his own - that man can download 1,00 viruses in five minutes flat - because it always, always, always takes hours to fix his mistakes... and he always claims he wasn't doing anything but reading his Facebook news feed. I offered to help, then didn't get frustrated with him for screwing it up so badly, as I usually do. I asked him if he wanted a back rub when he complained about it hurting. Once he got used to the idea that I was trying to be nice and think of his needs, he started to take advantage... just like a child would. He was asking me to hand him the phone that was ringing and sitting 1 foot away from him. He asked me to do all kinds of silly little things that he didn't need help with just to see if I'd do them. It was really annoying and, when I was busy with Little Guy, I had to tell him to do it himself. But I did try to put him before myself. I can't do this everyday, but I will revisit this again, whenever I can. My theory is that he'll eventually stop taking advantage. Then, maybe he'll even reciprocate. That's how a marriage should be, right?

So, while there really is not conclusion to this topic for me right now, I will continue working at it. I think that, once we can get our relationship with each other going in the right direction, we can work on the parenting aspect. For now, I can accept being the parent. Oh, and my kids will never hear me bad-mouthing my husband. They will, however, hear and see me trying my best to treat him with respect. It's important, not only to them, but to our entire family.

Making Really Cool Paper Snowflakes {Craft}

Our "Christmas Tree" is slowly getting decorated!

While at the library the other day, I passed one of the book display tables and saw Snowflakes for All Seasons by Cindy Higham. Now, one of our upcoming activities was making paper snowflakes, so I grabbed it. Boy, am I glad! This book has 72 different patterns to make snowflakes with stars, bells, trees - just about everything you can think of - included. You can check out how to fold the paper properly (if you don't understand my weirs instructions, below!) HERE. There are also a few snowflake patterns at the bottom of the page. Check out some of the ones we made:

There are a few things that are important to know before you start making your snowflakes:

• Consider the thickness of your paper. I used construction and my hands have been angry with me ever since. If we do this again, I'll use newsprint or magazine pages!
• Have some very sharp scissors. I had to trim rough edges from my snowflakes. This took forever and made a huge mess.
• Cut the small bits first, then the bigger sections. This way, you have more paper to hold on to.
• If your kids want to help, but aren't really great at using scissors yet, do the cutting part on your own. Have the kids decorate the paper with crayons, paints, pr markers before you fold and cut and/or have them decorate the finished snowflakes with glitter.
• Try to line up the edges as you're folding as closely as possible to avoid lop-sided snowflakes. My Nutcracker one is completely missing a guy because of mis-folding. And make creases in the paper after each fold to keep it all together better.

Here's how to fold the paper (in pictures!):

1) Start with a square of paper. If you only have rectangles, HERE is how to make squares.

2)  Fold the square in half, corner-to-corner.

3) Fold in half again.

4) The tricky part! You need to fold the side that has two creases so that it looks like this:

5) Then, fold the other side of the triangle over. The more lined up all of the edges are, the more perfect the snowflake will turn out.

6) When I (finally) got the paper folded just right - construction paper is TOUGH! - I drew lines where the creases were and used that one as a template for folding the rest. It made life MUCH easier.

Time to Cut!

After I did a few of the book's patterns, I learned how the patterns were created. There were just a few rules to follow:

1) Make sure that there are plenty of places on both sides of the pattern that will keep the edges of the pattern intact.
2) Try as hard as you can NOT to make a pattern that has a space in the center that you must cut out. You'll see in the pattern that I created below that I made this mistake.
3) Try to keep the size of the shapes you're cutting large. Not only does it make cutting easier; it also makes sure that the cut will show if you happened to fold the paper a little off.
4) Use an iron set to the lowest heat to flatten out your snowflakes. I put a piece of construction paper over the snowflakes before ironing so I wouldn't accidentally catch an edge on the iron and tear the paper.

I made my own pattern!
My oldest is a collector of Nutcrackers, so I was thrilled to find a pattern in the book. But there wasn't anything for Little Guy, so I decided to try making my own. I think it turned out pretty well:

I had to use an Xacto knife to repeatedly cut, cut, cut through the paper (including the curve of the wheels!) because my scissors just couldn't get in there without tearing the paper up.

In addition to making snowflakes, we also talked about snowflakes. I checked out another book that was filled with close-ups of snowflakes. We learned that there are different shapes for different types of weather (the colder it is when it snows, the more perfect the flakes are.) We counted the points, talked about hexagons, and talked about how snow if just frozen rain.

Have you made snowflakes yet? Did you manage to come up with your own unique pattern? Any tips and tricks you'd like to share. I imagine that we'll be making more snowflakes. It's a quick and easy project we can do with very little prep!

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