A New Parenting Blog (You'll Like It!)

It can be tough to jump back into writing on a regular basis after taking such a long vacation from it. It is especially difficult when you cannot think of anything to write about. I usually write about the fun projects the kids and I are working on or parenting in general. Unfortunately, things have been getting rougher and rougher around here with both kids. I know that some of it has to do with their reactions to the stress I'm feeling. No matter how much you try to hide something like this, it still shows. And, with my oldest, I am honest. He gets a simpler version of what's going on because 1) I don't believe in lying to him by saying that everything is going to be OK - it may not, and 2) if things do get bad, I don't want it to be a shock to him.

As for Little Guy, I am having a terrible time. It's as if he wants to constantly argue with me over everything. He'll ask for a flavor of juice that he knows we don't have, then whine and cry and throw a HUGE tantrum over not getting it. He wakes up in the morning telling me, "Today, I not gonna listen to you, Mommy!" All of the rules get broken all of the time. Not only the silly ones, like pick up your toys. The serious ones, too: no touching the electric outlets. He's thrown Hot Wheels at the TV screen, tossed my coffee mug down our wooden staircase, he runs off when we're on walks... into busy streets. I gave up on cooking and washing dishes with him because he's managed to cut me with a paring knife when I told him to please put it down (he put it down with force on my hand!) and he's broken a ton of dishes by tossing them on the floor just to see them crash. I feel that there is more than his reaction to stress to blame for this sudden change in behavior (no, he hasn't had any vax!)

Anyway, just when I thought I had no where but a physician to turn to (I really don't want labels such as "ADD" on his medical chart - especially at only 3 years old), I heard that a new blog is starting up that may just help me with these and many other parenting problems I will come across. The blog is written by three mothers who have a total of 17 children, ranging in age from 1 to 16 (and one on the way!). And, these aren't just any moms - they are moms who have the same parenting philosophies as I. They "...ascribe to Attachment Parenting, Gentle Discipline, & Natural Family Living philosophies; each in our own way. We wanted to create a place to share our lives as "crunchy" Moms with other similar-minded Moms." Their blog, Grateful Moms of Many, is scheduled to launch on April 1, 2012 and I, for one, cannot wait! On the site, you will find articles on many topics, including pregnancy & birth, breastfeeding, multiples, special needs children, schooling, discipline, frugality, crafts, recipes, mental health, and generally the unique challenges that moms face in daily life. It sounds like the PERFECT mom blog to me!

I really love how these three moms (Sasha, Nic, and Michelle) met each other. They were all on an Online Due Date Club - you know, where expectant moms can commiserate with other women who are at the same stage of pregnancy. Once their children were all born, the three moms stayed in touch via a private Facebook group. Though they all share similar parenting philosophies, they also believe that every parent does what he/she feels is best for their children. You won't find judgment on this blog, only support. And, with the years of experience that these Moms of Many have, you can almost bet that all kinds of interesting things have been encountered. That leaves me feeling as if I can find the help I need with my own kids.

If you can't wait for their April 1st launch, you can head over to their Facebook page, Grateful Moms of Many. There are already a few questions posted and the community there feels wonderful - lots of great ideas being generated and no judgemental attitudes.

 Oh, and I almost forgot! 

To celebrate the Grateful Moms of Many's blog launch 

on April 1st (you know what day that is, right?!), 

there will be a special giveaway 

with a nice little prank-like twist! 

April Fool's! 

So, don't forget to go check it out - I'll give you a quick reminder post so you don't forget. :)

Outings Can Be Scary When Potty Training! {Giveaway! (12/17) US}

Sponsored by Tomoson.com Little Guy has been learning how to use the potty since the beginning of summer. He's only had a handful of accidents at home since we just let him run around without pants on all day. When he began learning to use the potty, I bought one small package of Pull-Ups (I know... guilty) to use. Those Pull-Ups ran out about a month ago and, even though it's tempting, I will not buy any more. That means that I need to be prepared for accidents while we're away from home. I have a plastic bag with a clean pair of pants, underwear, socks, and shoes in it that I lug around wherever we go. I didn't need to use it until last week's trip to the grocery store.

It seems that my husband shared raisins with Little Guy the night before. Lots of raisins. (How many of you just thought, "Oh no!"?) So, yeah... Now, I should have known something was up when he complained that his tummy hurt as we were walking to the bus stop. He only complains about "owies" when he really has them. We were almost there, so I told him that I'd rub his tummy while we waited for the bus. He seemed fine by the time the bus arrived and I forgot all about his tummy ache.

Well, the inevitable happened -  halfway through shopping, I start to smell something. Little Guy was walking funny. And he was unusually quiet - not running around trying to toss everything he could get his hands on into the cart. I just knew... Our Kroger does not have public restrooms, so I had to find an employee to show us the way to the "secret" bathroom in the back. I went through THREE people who refused to let us use the restroom! I had to make my way to the customer service desk, stand in line, and ask the manager. He started to shake his head, too. I threatened to clean a poopy little boy right there at the desk if he didn't show us to the restroom. That got him moving!

We got to the bathroom just as Little Guy's plastic pants began to leak - JUST in time! I looked around for paper towels that I could wet to clean him up and there weren't any (aren't employees - especially those working around food, supposed to wash their hands?!) There was only half a roll of that one-ply, see-through toilet paper. I started to dig through my bag. Band-aids, no. Camera, no. Crayons, no. Extra hat.... um, no. Then I saw it - I swear it had a heavenly glow surrounding it!

A few days earlier, I received two sample packs of QwikShower disposable washcloths. I tossed one of them into the bag and gave the other to my oldest to try out. I had planned on checking them out when I had a little extra time. I forgot and I am so glad! After undressing my poor little one, I opened up the package. I was expecting that fake lemony smell that wet wipes tend to have, but was surprised that it smelled really good! The wipe was about 10" X 12" and was thick enough that I knew it wasn't going to bleed through as I cleaned him up. I didn't think that just one was going to do the job very well, but it did. By the time we left the bathroom, Little Guy was clean and smelling fresh! (I let hubby deal with the laundry part after we got home!)

I plan on ordering a few more (you can get 10 for only $7) to carry around with us. After that experience, I don't want that feeling of dread at not having anything to clean him up with again! Plus, the scent is one that I know will appeal to my oldest. They'll be nice for him to toss into his bag for track or to use on those rare mornings when he wakes up just in time to get dressed and catch the bus. No one wants a nickname like "Stinky Kid" in high school!

You can buy your own QwikShower wipes at their online store - they will even send you a single-wipe sample for just $1 so you can try it out to see if you like it before buying more. QwikShower also has fundraising and affiliate programs, where they partner with PTA's, athletic booster clubs, and even bloggers. The organization (or blogger) will receive 10% of all proceeds from sales. You can learn more HERE, or contact Harvey via email.

Would you like a chance to win a 6-pack of QwikShower wipes to try out for yourself? Enter in the Rafflecopter form below!

Learning to Use the Potty Comes With All Kinds of New Discoveries!

***If you aren't into reading about poop and stuff, you may want to just skip this post!

...You've been warned!

OK, so little guy's getting really good at using the potty. He basically runs around without a stitch of clothes on when we're at home. He runs to his Boon Potty Bench on his own throughout the day. Sometimes he asks to go potty in the "big toy-wit" and we head into the bathroom. The first couple of weeks without diapers, I would put one on him at night - just in case. After repeatedly waking up dry, I decided that sleeping sans pants would probably be a good idea. I haven't woken up to a warm puddle under my body yet!

Now, with learning to go potty comes a very concentrated study of one's own body. All of those parts that were once covered in diapers and pants are now available for close inspection. Let me just say that he loves his "winkie" so much. It's a nifty little item to have, you know? When you jump on the bed, it jumps with you. It feels kinda cool, too... squishy. Not like any other body part! Oh, and it gets the neatest reaction out of a big brother when you say, "Hey Brubber, you wanna see my winkie? Tee-hee-hee!" The power he has! LOL

Even in his sleep!

Another "cool" thing about going potty is you can see what has come out of your body. With diapers, you lay there while someone wipes away the mess and then whisks away the pee and poop. Little Guy's newest thing is to inspect his poops. "Look, Mama! A little wormie poop!" He's also had , "Three poops! A great big daddy poop, a mommy poop, and a little tiny baby poop!" He MUST check out every single bowel movement and announce what it looks like. We've had bunny rabbits, cookies, and even a monster truck appear in his potty. He also notes the color. Yeah, it's always brown. But he feels he needs to let me know that it's brown this time, too! Oh, and it's stinky, too. He never forgets to ask me if I'd like to smell it - ugh!

So, while learning to go potty may be a struggle for some children and parents, it's been nothing but fun around here. Who'd have ever thought that this kind of thing could bring out such an imagination? And I think that his scientific evaluation is pretty cool, too. Just as long as he doesn't decide to see how poop feels, right?!

The End of an Era... And the Start of a New One {#WorldBreastfeedingWeek}

Tweet
I'm done with breastfeeding... forever. It's a bittersweet realization. I'll never have a little one smiling up at me, sharing a special bond ever again. Yeah, I'm done having babies. Little Guy weaned about a month ago, at 32 months. I knew it was coming. He'd go a few days without even asking. Then, suddenly, he'd need it constantly. But, the need to nurse slowly dissipated as he changed from a toddler to a little boy.

The final blow was his first full-blown cold. Yeah, he'd never been sick before this. Maybe the occasional runny nose or fever that lasted 2-3 days, but I blame those on teething - a new tooth always popped out withing a few days of his "illness". Oh, did I mention that the only vaccine he's ever had was for polio. (It's a terrible disease that is still around. We live near an international airport and come into contact with a lot of tourists. Plus, his grandparents remember all too clearly the effect that polio had on friends, family, and even themselves.) ANYWAY, I attribute his perfect health to breastfeeding - I can't tell you how many illnesses I had that were never passed on. But, I believe that his first cold can be attributed to the lack of nursing. Once his nose was completely blocked and remedies only lasted a few minutes, he just gave up on breastfeeding. I wanted so much to use it as a comfort to him, but it was not to be.

I noticed a direct correlation between his growing independence and weaning. He had started potty training around the same time. We stopped using the stroller when we went somewhere - he could walk (or run!) everywhere. He got into the "No helping me! I do it myself!" stage. He was ready.

My oldest son, who is now 13, quit nursing when he was 15 months old. It coincided with his learning to walk. As soon as he could get himself from here to there, he decided he didn't want to nurse anymore. I was fine with it - I was working full time in a restaurant. He refused to take breast milk from a bottle or a cup, so my husband would bring him to where I worked (thankfully it was only a few blocks from our home) during my breaks so he could be nursed. It was getting tedious - I never really got a break from someone needing something from me. As soon as the nursing session was over, I was back to the customers.

I describe the end of our nursing relationship as "bittersweet" because I was beginning to feel chained down. I was the only one who could put him to bed. I was the only one he would come to when he needed some affection. My husband was beginning to feel very left out. Plus, Little Guy had this habit of clamping down when he fell off to sleep. As if he knew that once he was out, I'd get up from the bed. Oh, and if someone made a loud noise, the telephone rang, or he heard a train outside our window, I knew I'd get bit! Toddler teeth are very sharp and there were many occasions when I'd have to put a little band-aid on one of my nipples. Sexy!!!!

I'm going to miss the closeness we shared, but there are new ways for us to spend special time together. Little Guy loves sitting on my lap and hearing stories. His imagination has grown to the point where I can read him stories from books without pictures and he is following my words closely. I know he's understanding because he'll often stop me from reading to ask a question or add to the story. How cool is that? And, while he's in my lap, he loves sitting in his old nursing position. We still get to share those special smiles.Oh, and even my oldest still has breastfeeding ingrained in him - when I check on him in the middle of the night, he makes little suckling noises in his sleep. I know those noises and remember them clearly - way back to when he was just a tiny little one.

I'm going to really miss breastfeeding. Since it has just started to become an "alternative" to bottles in our area, I'm finding that many pregnant and new moms are asking my advice. I never thought of myself as an ameture lactation consultant, but that seems to be a new part for me to play. In fact, I recently received a phone call from a woman I'd never met before. Screaming newborn in the background, all she could do was cry into the receiver. She finally managed to tell me she couldn't get her little one to eat. I was able to talk her through a nursing session over the phone and she came over to my house as soon as the baby was full - before the next feeding was due. We talked and I was floored by the misinformation she had been fed - by friends, family, and even her doctors. I helped her understand why these "facts" were merely opinions and gave her real facts. I helped her through the next feeding and she left smiling, with a baby who was sound asleep!

I'm going to address these "facts" that she had believed in another post. They are the ones I have heard over and over - in person, online, from health 'professionals', and from well-meaning friends and family. Hopefully, it will help a new mom who is struggling in a misinformed community with no real advice coming toward her.


***Sorry there are no pics. I do not have any. I'm the picture-taker in the family. Please, if you're the family photographer and are still nursing - MAKE someone take pictures of you nursing. I feel cheated that I don't have any, now that it's too late to do anything about. :-(

***

I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!
You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

Garden {Wordless Wednesday 7/6}

Somewhat "Wordless" Wednesday... my garden at the half-way point. Completely organic - I can't believe it hasn't been eaten up more than this!

Oh, and there's a surprise at the end!

Oregano - after I've already harvested and dried from it twice!

My friend, Fred. In the mornings, while I sip my morning coffee, I watch him pluck mosquitoes from the undersides of leaves for his breakfast.

Uh... yeah, peas!

After releasing our ladybugs, they made their home in my radishes. They laid a ton of eggs. I just didn't have the heart to pull them up. So, now we have flowers!

Beets for hubby (yuck!) Not doing very well... it was planted in May!

First flower from our Heirloom German Striped Tomato. Can't wait to see how it tastes. Check out how fuzzy this plant is!

Little Guy's favorite - mint. He loves plucking off a leaf and chewing it up - especially when we have guests over. Someone will almost always ask if he's eating something poisonous.

Um, OK... yes, grasshoppers eat gardens. BUT, I happen to like them. Plus, I have giant dragonflies that visit daily AND a really cool praying mantis who love to catch them in mid-air. Circle of life, food chain, and all that stuff, right?

HaHa... When you're gardening, sometimes you just gotta go. We live in a second floor apartment, so getting to the potty on time doesn't always work. Daddy and Little Guy picked out an emergency potty area for those just-in-case times! (And, he's a guy. I think that the need to pee outside is in their genes!)

I've Been a Busy Beaver, Patching the Dam

Remember a couple of weeks ago when All Hell Went and Broke Loose? Well, things are beginning to get patched up. Just in time, too. I was oh so very close to losing my mind, I think. Here are the changes that have taken place and the ones that are slowly beginning to get better:

1) My oldest is out of school for the summer. No more constantly getting on his back about homework and grades. No more constant grounding. No more talking to a brick wall. I just let everything go for a couple of weeks and we didn't say a word about school for a couple of weeks. Probably was the best thing I could have done. When his grade card arrived in the mail this week, we were both ready to have a frank discussion about things.

He got his second "F" in a row in Algebra. UGH! This was the one class where he knew how to do it all and hated doing the daily homework problems because it was repetitive and boring. His grade was a direct result of not turning in homework. Test and quiz grades were all "A's". Like 95% and higher... yeah, and he FAILED! This just killed his plans to do his senior year in high school at the community college, gaining college credit for FREE.

We talked it all over, though, in a very calm and understanding manner. I understand that my constant harping was making him shut down. And he understands that he's got to grab hold of all of this new responsibility over his own education and keep everything under control. He knows that he's in charge of his own future, but he can always ask for help when he feels he may have goofed-off enough to paint himself into a corner. When he asks for help, I still get to roll my eyes ans sigh, but no accusations - only help.



He's also agreed to participate in the Smart Summer Challenge with me. It's not just for little kids, you know! I'm working on finding a way to teach him some organization skills and get him caught up in science and history - the two classes he started daydreaming in. He has no clue what was taught the last few months of school!

2) Little Guy and I are still having our problems, but it's getting better. He's nearly 100% potty trained! The secret was just letting him run around in the buff at home (so glad it's summer!) so he would run to his potty whenever he felt the need for it. When we go out, we use some Huggies Little Swimmers diapers that a friend gave us when he was first born. I tossed them in a box, thinking I'd never use them. Well, they are perfect - they stay feeling wet, so he hates peeing in them.

LOVES his new nickname: 'Nature Boy'

So, what's potty training got to do with his little attitude? He's a BIG BOY now! Some of the advice I received (from Sara of Sara's Organized Chaos) was to give him his own jobs, make him feel in charge of something. Well, if going potty when you need to isn't the biggest job ever to a toddler, what is?! He's so proud of himself! I keep mentioning all of the things he can do now that he's a big boy, things that babies just can't do. He loves it and struts around like a peacock. He's been picking up his toys on his own, helping me do other chores, etc.

Yes, we still have occasional tantrums, but nothing like before! It happens more when we're out in public with lots of people around. I'm trying to figure out if it's him being overwhelmed or me not paying close enough attention to him until it's too late. Another reason is that, with his new-found autonomy, he thinks he can do lots of things that he cannot do - like walk across the street on his own. And, the other day, he got himself dressed and told me that he was going to the library - "Mama stay home. Only I go library." Gonna have to make sure all of the doors are locked from now on!

3) Hubby and I are working on it. I have 100% control over his meds. He's seeing a psychologist once a week, with the option to go more often if he needs it. He's hanging out nearly everyday with a friend of his who is a real church-going man. My beliefs are way different, but he needs to have religion in his life to remind him how to conduct himself in his actions and in his heart. As long as I'm not in the sights for conversion, I don't care what he believes - it's his own personal decision and none of my business!

It's been a few weeks on the new med schedule. I hand them out just as prescribed - no more, no less. We've gone over the list of drugs with his psychologist and primary physician (ugh - I can't stand that guy!), and have eliminated the scripts that are unnecessary or causing bad side effects. I'm so HAPPY the Lyrica is gone - that stuff is poison, I'm telling you! We have a semi-normal schedule now and we have been able to do some honest talking (and real listening, not just hearing) on some of the issues. If we can stay on this level, I don't think there will be many more problems. I'm not stupid enough to think there won't be the occasional relapse, but I don't see it being the everyday thing it was. And relapses can be fixed much more easily that complete loss of control!

4) I've had my past revisit me this past week. It one of the ghosts in my closet - the closet I never open, the one with all of the locks and bolts tightly holding it in. It finally got out and has been haunting me - until last night. I've been spending the last few days obsessing over every single decision I've made in my life. All of those really bad ones, especially. I've imagined taking other paths, going down other roads... And, last night, it hit me - had I made any decision differently, even a little, I wouldn't have the people in my life right now that make my life worth living. I wouldn't have the view on life that I have right now. I wouldn't see the world as I do - right now. And, though my physical circumstances may not all that I want or desire, I have just what I need. And I like who I am, inside, right now.

You gotta check out Bernie's blog if you get a sec

When I checked my emails this morning, I saw a post by Bernie at One Mixed Bag that tied it all up so neatly for me. It was based on a writing prompt asking her to write a letter to her 16-year-old self. In it, she didn't tell herself to avoid such-and-such a decision. She just let herself know that there were going to be some bad times ahead and to prepare herself for them. She let herself know that things would turn out OK in the end, even when they didn't look so good in the present. I loved it and it came at the perfect time for me. It just reaffirmed that the conclusion I came to for myself last night was the right one!


So, I think all is well - for now! Things are always going to be popping up, but for now I'm feeling pretty appreciative of the things I have and the path I have laid down for myself!

Potty Training Means Noticing Differences!

Tweet

***WARNING: This post contains the word "winkie" frequently! Proceed at your own risk...

So, since Little Guy is being introduced to potty training, one of his favorite "hobbies" has become sitting on his stool in the bathroom and watching everyone go potty. Yeah, not something I'd be too awfully fascinated with. But, to a little one who is trying to be like the grown-ups around him, this is just one more way he can become a "big boy". Whenever anyone announces that they have to use the restroom, or even when he hears the door to the bathroom opening, he wants to "help" whoever needs to go.

Now, I am the only female that he is around on a regular basis. He has a Daddy, a big brother, and two male cats here. Even his toys are all boys - his pretty baby doll who is all dressed in pink has been dubbed "Steve" by Little Guy! So, when he "helps" me go potty, he's just simply amazed that "Mommy doesn't have a winkie." I know, should be teaching him proper names and all, but that's what Daddy calls it, so that's what he calls it. I don't think it will damage him all that much! Anyway, he's very concerned about my lack of body parts. We've explained that that's just how it is - boys and girls are just different in that area. I've assured him that I'm OK with this turn of events. But he still can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm missing out on something so very important.

Lately, whenever he goes potty or gets his diaper changed, we end up having some form of conversation about his winkie and how he can go pee with it. Last night, though, the fact that I don't have one was heavily on his mind. He came up with a wonderful solution for me - it was really a moment of genius to him. Here's how it went (and I'm not making this up!):

L.G.: I have winkie!
ME: Yes, you do!
L.G.: Daddy have winkie, Brubber have winkie, kitties have winkies... (he went on with a huge list, including such famous names as Mr. Rogers and Elmo.)
ME: Yep, they all have winkies (trying to shake the image of Mr. Rogers having a "winkie" out of my mind's eye - shudder!)
L.G.: Mommy don't have winkie. Poor Mommy.
ME: Oh, that's OK. I don't need a winkie. I'm a girl and we don't have them.
L.G.: (He's had an epiphany!) I know! You go buy a winkie at the store!
ME: Oh, no, you can't buy a winkie at the store!
L.G.: You have to pay with money. Then get winkie!
ME: Umm....

Now, just how should I have handled THAT?! On the one hand, he needs to know you can't just go out and buy that kind of thing. But he was so excited about this wonderful solution for my "problem" that I didn't want him to think his idea was silly. So, I just kinda changed the subject. I think I was more taken with the fact that he managed to come up with this solution on his own, you know?

Hoping to be diaper-free soon!

Have any good stories about little ones realizing that we're all not the same? I'd love to hear them!
Have any ideas on how I could handle this situation (or others) should it come up again? PLEASE share!